The Perfect Love Song..

So there is this AMAZING song out on the airwaves now, and I just have to say that it is the PERFECT love song and just the perfect song for me right now.
It's by rising artist Bruno Mars and it's called "Just the Way You Are." Before I give you the lyrics and the song I want to just preface somethings. So first, I am a HUGE Justin Bieber fan.. I am not a closet, I really love his music and like Kim Kardashian said, "he has a little swag about him." His "Somebody to Love" is my newest anthem, and what I thought was a perfect display of love. But it has been uprooted, and this is not a bad thing, by Bruno's song. I don't know if I have mentioned this, or maybe I have in different ways. But I have sort of come full circle in my life as far as finally seeing the beauty in myself that other people have said they've always seen. I am comfortable in my own skin, and I am truly happy being me. So this song not only speaks to the kindest words and the purest love that anyone can hope for, but it also speaks to the one love that you must always have, and that's love of yourself.
Second, this song transends so many other "love"styles! I mean it can speak to any relationship no matter who is involved, what do I mean, it's a perfect love song for two people who are in love, it speaks to what people want to hear about everyday- that someone out there gets them and cares about them and, wait for it LOVES THEM!!!
Now taking this from the perspective of someone who would be in a heterosexual relationship(because this is my "love"style, I think this is the perfect song for me being a female, to have written. I think Bruno Mars gave me and probably everyone else who listens to this the perfect song to make us feel good, and he gave those that we are in relationships the perfect song to express all of our love through.
With that said, I want to share with you the song that puts a smile on my face and the song that I will never get tired of, and the song that sadly I think will knock Eminem and Rihanna's "Love the way you lie" out of it's number 1 spot!



Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day


Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
*** The bold is probably my favorite verse in this track, even though I love it all!!!
And now for the video..



So to all those reading this blog: You don't have to search far or wide to find this perfect love, you only need to start with yourself and grow in your own skin. And for those of you who have that special someone in your life, cherish that moment and let them know how you care about them. It could be as simple as just playing this song and telling them you love them. But just say it, love can be fleeting, you need to do what you can to preserve it when you have it.. #justsaying

25 is the new 21!!

So if you don't know, I just celebrated a FABULOUS birthday. I am 25 years old and I am FINALLY in a place in my life where I can see so many of my dreams coming true. I feel more comfortable, confident and just plain HAPPY to be me right now.
Over the last few days I have been thinking about some things I want to do in this new year. So I guess given that I am 25 I will make a list of 25 things I hope to accomplish in this next year of my life. Here goes nothing:

Academic:
1. Stay Current (Political Science is my passion, so I need to stay current in order to keep this passion strong)

2. Build Relationships with Grad Professors and students (I am finding that I still have one foot caught in the UnderGraduate door and I need to branch out and sort of move on. It's not bad thing, but I do need to make more of a concious effort to make changes)

3. 4.0 (I want a 4.0 this semester. So I am going to bust my butt to get it)

4. Network (I am in the last stages of my college career, this is an opportunity for me to make the best of the relationships that I have and will have especially when it comes to my profession)

5. Read more (I love to read, and I haven't been on top of my game as much as I need to be, so I want to read more and I have a HUGE book list and I will get through it)

People Relationships:
1. Date (I am FINALLY in a place that I am comfortable with me, which means that I am ready to put me out there so here is to jumping into the dating pool)
*** If I was to go on a date here are my ideas
- RockClimbing
- Picnic on the National Mall and the day in the Botanical Garden
- Ice Skating at the National Art Gallery and Sculpture Gardens
- BTWs what happened to a nice home cooked meal, a movie and wine? (that would be a great date)

2. Foster Identities of the people I encounter (okay so like I mentioned in the previous goal, I am finally comfortable with myself, so I want to pass on the tools that helped me get to where I am. The tools I used to help me get rid of the insecurities I used to hold on to, etc.)

3.Family Relationships (I think it's straight forward, but my family relationships, especially with my mother are not as strong as I want them to be. I think the point is that instead of pushing them away completely, I need to be open to the expereince. Our time on this earth is short- I don't want to waste it angry)

4. Strengthen Friendships (I have lived far enough away from my friends who are practicaly my family. I have been there for their babies births and in spirit at Weddings. I just know that as I get older time gets longer and well I need to make a better effort to keep in touch with people while I build these new relationships as well)

5. My personal growth and development as an individual and how I see myself and my relationship wtih God

Health
1. Get through 60 days of Insanity
2.Run 8 miles
3. I want a 4 Pack by the end of the year (NO JOKE)
4. Better Healthy eating habits
5. Incorporate Strength Training

Travel
- Haiti
- New Orleans (So the plan was that I was going to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, my first Mardi Gras now that I am an adult. Well due to a change in my Haiti Schedule I will be going to New Orleans later in the year)
- Miami
- Begin planning my trip across the country (I have travled to all but 3 states. But this all happened when I was much younger, so I would like to revist many of the places that I have been before with the hopes that I can relive some of these experiences. The goal is to do this before I am 30)

* And the biggest goal I have for the year is to budget. This summer I got myself into quite a pickle financially and now I am doing what I can to recover, but I need to do better. Once I get over this "hump" than I will be well on my way to the financial stability that I can enjoy.
But for now it's time to suck it up and do what I can to not have these issues again. Which means sadly, that Keesha will not be going out for a while.

Funny how some simple words...

....thrust a person into both deep thought and deep confusion. I just had a conversation with a blast from my past. A person who surprises me more than even he will know. The sad thing is tomorrow I doubt he'll even remember the conversation we had or the promises he made. So in this moment, I just sit here contemplating what happened and shake my head and listen to music that only seems to speak to me in these moments, knowing that even for me tomorrow will bring a different experience and a different moment, and this particular moment in my life will just be another memory I put away with all of the other dreams and small investments into this friendship while I anticipate this next blast from the past...
So with that here is the song of the moment. Dave Matthews Band- "Say Goodbye"..


So here we are tonight
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends

Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer, Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl just tonight

Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends

Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away

And tomorrow
Back to being friends
Lovers...love...lovers
Just for tonight, one night...love you
And tomorrow say goodbye





It's crazy, it seems like this is the relationship I have with this one particular person, that in these brief moments we get to be two people who just care about each other and are trapped in this weird limbo, and then by the morning, its back to the way our lives are supposed to be-separate. Which is so frustrating, for me. Because in these brief moments, I am thrown into the dream of what could be- and for the record I like that dream :( so I guess my "Tonight, let's be lovers..." Is really me saying just keep this dream going, this moment where we just get to be. I wish that I could have that for many evenings and not just for a few fleeting moments. I don't want to go back to being friends, because when we are more than that it is so much more fun....
Or I guess to Dave, my issue is that I don't just want this for a night and I sure as hell don't want to say goodbye.. BAH!!! FRUSTRATING!!
Worse part is now I look like the crazy person who just can't let go. Well maybe, tell the jack-off who keeps coming back to stop! All I do is pick up the phone, I'm not the one who calls, HE DOES! Why?! What is the purpose of wrapping up one person into every good thing you want for yourself if you can't even take the next steps to make sure that she stays there. And even more, what is the purpose of you risking a good thing when all you have to do is just say a few words and you'd have her forever?
Well I know I may be wrong and the first part of this is that I need to also let go, and refuse to answer the phone anymore. But I guess for just tonight, I'll continue to participate in this dance we do and hold on to the dream just for a night. And tomorrow, we'll go back to being worse than friends, and that's nothing. But at least for right now I still have this fleeting moment and a dream... Night y'all..

There are moments in life..

... That snap you back into reality. Mine seems to be death or tragedy. Last week I found out that someone I knew once, well someone I dated (if that's even what we could call it) from High School died. He's the second person that I had a "relationship" with and the third person in my graduating class and someone that I knew that died. The thing that sucked is the two people that I was in relationships with, are two people I never really knew after High School. One I was such a pain in the butt to after I broke up with him. I refused to speak to him. So when he died, like this one, I didn't feel I deserved, or had a right to be upset. Somehow though, I found peace with it. I went to his funeral, said my apologies and lived my life.
The biggest thing i have learned is that you can't go on making the same mistakes that you made. I know there are people that I do not talk to, for whatever reasons those might be, but I know that each day I try to make the best of the relationships I do have.
Ugh, what brought this on-today is that guy's funeral... I don't know if I should be sad and cry or what. All I do know is that I am affected by this, and it is definitely sad.
Well to the guy i once knew, Rest in Peace- I hope that the life you have now is better than the life you had here.

And a little bit of a prayer to all of those who have gone before, here is a little thank you for reminding me of the person I need to continue to grow to be, via Eminem.

HE'S BACK!!!

So this blog has been loooong overdue..
I know that he has many enemies in the world inside and outside of music. He is at times abrasive, rude, misogynistic, ugly, catastrophic, damaging and hurtful. But when I listen to him, I hear someone just fighting to stay alive, someone who is trying to give a voice to all those who have been so lost at times. And one of those voices turns out to be his own. He might not be liked by many, but he is loved by many and I am one of them. I don’t understand it, since his music at times goes against everything I believe in my fiber, but I think too often we hide behind what we are unwilling to say, and if there is anything that I have learned out of his music, it is that you have to stop hiding.
With that, this particular blog is about one that goes by many names, but today I am just going to call him Marshall Bruce Mathers III. Where do I start…? I fell in love with Marshall Bruce Mathers III aka, Eminem, aka Slim Shady. When his first track “My name is” dropped on TRL in 1999. I think for me I was in a music rut. Tupac had died, and this hip hop loving fan was lost, needing something fresh among the bubble gum Pop music that was breaking out. Don’t get me twisted, I was a middle school Backstreet and *Nsync fan! But during this time in my life, my parents were going through an awful divorce and I sort of just needed something to relate to.
“My name is” aired on TRL and I lost it. Who was this crazy, white boy attempting to turn the rap game on its heels? I mean “My name is,” was catchy if anything.


But it definitely wasn’t a one hit wonder. The album showed much strength, and carried the popularity he received much farther than I even think he imagined. His lines were/are just mind-blowing. This rapper for Detroit showed me something about myself that I didn’t know I needed or wanted. The Slim Shady LP definitely filled a void that I wasn’t sure needed filling. I was a little broken. 12 years old, and having my life literally turned upside down. My mom kicked my dad out of the house the morning of my 12th birthday. It was 1am, my dad came into my room and told me that he wished I had a very happy birthday and that he would see me later that day. I wasn’t sure what was going on, I mean, who gets woken up like that by their parents. This was already after months of my dad having sleepovers with my cousin and I in our family room in the basement of our house. It was crazy. So after sort of laying in bed trying to figure out what was going on, I crawled out onto the landing of my second floor room and peered over my balcony to see that my father was being escorted out of the house by a police officer, ON MY BIRTHDAY! I don’t know what it was about Slim Shady that woke me up. Maybe it was the way he sounded, maybe it was what he said. Maybe it was the fact that there was a shift in how I felt about my mother, that he seemed to tap into in his music with his. I’m not sure, all I know was that I heard it and was hooked. I think the main thing came out with his line “99% of my life I was lied to.” Felt like at that particular moment in my life, I had been lied to. You have this version of the life that you think is yours. You are pretty much naïve to the world around you. And then in one moment the life that you thought you had gets sort of ripped away. I guess what really happened, is that Eminem didn’t sugar coat the world around him. If he was angry at the life he had, the mother he had, the broken relationships, well he seemed to just let you have it. Looking back on it, I guess he taught me not to hold anything back. It’s funny, you never realize how much something can have an impact on your life and his music definitely had an impact on mine. At any rate, I followed this rising star.
I think I might have mentioned that I was abducted? If not, well there you go. I have probably mentioned this in another blog, and if I haven’t here it is. I spent a semester “healing” from all of the drama of my life, that stemmed from being abducted, and it was in this that I started writing my blogs. I may or may not “talk” about the real reason why I created this blog, but when I am ready you’ll get more.
Needless to say, Em was my comfort, like a teddy bear. My best friends (one guy and one girl) also shared my love of Em so it was nice. The Slim Shady LP was the beginning, then came The Marshall Mathers LP, with “B*** Please II” and “The Way I Am”- OMG! It was after this album that I got to see the genius at work live. Jess, my best friend in High School and still one of my really good friends now and I went to the Up and Smoke Tour! Such an amazing concert!! It was Dr. Dre, Xzibit, Snoop Dog, Ice Cube, some others that I can’t remember and Em. Oh, it was the first and last concert that I have gotten a chance to see him in  So sad. Anyways, the day that The Eminem Show came out was the day before the Santa Clara DA picked me up and returned me to my dad. So I spent a day with 2 cops, not really talking much, crying the whole time and listening to The Eminem Show on repeat. From "White America" to "Cleanin’ out my closet" Em just spoke to the pain that I was going through in that moment. And I liked the way he gave it to then President Bush and the ugly politics we were seeing post 9/11 ;)
Then came Encore, which I thought was good. I mean “Mockingbird”

was great, people complain about Em’s lyrics and then criticize him being a good father etc, but I hear this song and others that he has written specifically for his daughter and I am floored. Then Em dropped off the planet, dealing with the loss of his best friend Proof, drugs, rehab, his relationships etc. Relapse came out and I was like HE’S BACK!!! But the thing about both of these albums, is that there are only a handful of songs that I can truly love. With the other albums, I am going through the whole disc from start to finish, skits included. These two albums I’m bouncing back and forth; which brings me to the reason I am writing this particular blog, on this particular subject.
Eminem slowly started to make his way back into the rap game, doing colabos on songs like Forever with Drake and Weezey. But in 2010 he dropped the much anticipated album RECOVERY which I thought was supposed to be part 2 of Relapse. Anyways, Recovery shows the depth of Eminem in a way I didn’t think was possible. So often Eminem is critiquing other people, but in this album, it’s him who he turns his rants on. It is the most raw I have ever seen him be, at least I think so. He gives himself a hard time about Encore and Relapse and I couldn’t figure it out. I liked those albums, I didn’t love them, but I liked them. So one day after I bought the album, I decided to listen to all of his studio released albums in chron. order (and no I do not have Infinite). When I got to Encore and Relapse I realized that he was right, those two albums were jokes. There might have been one or two good songs on them, but they weren’t his best. Recovery to me fits in very well right after The Eminem Show, it’s as if he didn’t even have Encore and Relapse after I heard Recovery, every song is a good one. And it seems as if the fans agree, he’s held the #1 spot on the Billboard charts for 5 weeks now, and I hope he isn’t uprooted..
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite songs, including a few off of his new one. And one day very soon I’ll tease out one of those songs on Recovery and tell you how I feel about it. But here is what I will say, Em has seen me through my ups and downs. And this Recovery album is perfect with where I am now in my life, because I have finally made it through all of the shit! So as much as Recovery was a healing process for him, it had/has the same effect on me. I am excited to see what else he can bring and to all of those people who need to hear it let me tell you- HE IS THE GREATEST RIGHT NOW! Weezey has his following, but it’s not quite up to Em’s stature. I love T.I. and I’ll give cred to Jay and Drake, but Em has my heart!
Check out Recovery and tell me what you think..


So here are the videos and some of the songs that I LOVE by Eminem:














Okay so those are some of my favs, I could go on for ever!!

BET Music Awards Pt 2!

So I said that CB's performance is one of my favorite from this night. Well the other one that I really liked was the Prince Tribute take a look.

The first two were eh, but Alicia Killed it! And did yous ee Prince look over to Swizz Beatz like, what is she doing. You better watch her. And if you check during Patti's number, Prince looks like he's going to tear up!

BET Music Awards 2010

So last night was the 2010 BET Music Awards, I don't generally talk about award shows because for the most part the sort of fail. But overall, this was one of the best ones that I have seen. Withe memorable performances, and a great host in Queen Latifah herself! It was well played.
One of my favorite performances has to go to none other than Chris Brown. He was introduced by Jermain Jackson in a roundabout way. Jermaine comes out on stage and talks about what a trying year this has been. Remember we just had the year anniversary of MJ's death on June 25th. So he talks about the trying year, he reminds us of Janet's speech at last year's BET Awards and then he basically give BET a moment to redeem themselves by saying this is the tribute the is much deserved and long over due. Immediately I knew CB was going to be the performer. He is the closest thing to MJ in his dancing ability etc. And I sort of cheated- his Twitter feed read " I am shitting a brick right now!" moments before he went on.
Needless to say, his performance was powerful all the way through. Now I know that the papers and the blogs are probably lit up with, is it appropriate, was it necessary etc. Let's be honest, BET dropped the ball last year and in this battle of who is the best MJ imitator, hands down it is Chris Brown. I mean really! Watch the video below and tell me he doesn't kill the MJ talent contest.
Now the appropriateness is on two levels, Chris Brown has been out of the limelight due to his less than admirable anger issues against Rhianna. Do I think what he has done should be taken lightly. No, but I think that he was tried in a court and served a punishment that was given to him. And he will have to live with what he did for the rest of his life, so he has a life sentence. But everyone deserves a chance to be redeemed. And there are people out there, my friends included, who feel that Chris Brown owes the fans an apology. To be honest, I don't think he does. I think too often we get involved in celebrities lives and we get to wrapped up in the people that they are that we forget that they are human. And if it was us that made a mistake, we would want to be able to redeem ourselves in our own way and on our own time. He owes no one, but himself, Rhianna and God an apology for the mistakes that he made. He knows he let the fans down, but that is his burdent o bear not mine to hang over him every time he goes out.
So here is my theory. CB gave the performance of his life last night. His idol is gone. And yes I know we all talk about idols, MJ was mine. I cry every time I am reminded that his genius is no longer with us. But CB since he has been out has only paid respect to MJ. His 18th birthday was a tribute to MJ, he does MJ performances and tributes in his concerts and at parties. So after a hectic year, he is able to give MJ the tribute that is long overdue (for BET) and also in a way shed his own dead weight. What better song to have him close the performance out with than "Man in the Mirror," because we all have to look inside ourselves and find our own faults and fix them before we can judge others and ask them to fix themselves. So I think this song did CB some justice- yes he broke down. Wouldn't you, a person that you respected is gone, and you weren't able to give him the proper tribute you wanted because you were going through your own things and finally when you are able it is overwhelming. I think MJ would be proud of that moment. MJ never wanted to stifle anyone from living to their potential. He laughed and enjoyed the show when people wanted "to be like him."
I give it to Chris Brown to get out there and do his best. I would have liked to see Jermain come out and help CB finish the song, that to me would have been fitting, but the crowd did assist CB and I guess in a way that is what MJ would have wanted, his fans remembering his legacy in that way.
I talk about it all the time, change starts with you. Chris Brown has a long way to go before I think the rest of the world will fully accept him and welcome him back into the fold. But for me, I am happy to see him returning. I just wish people would be a little more receiving. But let this also be a lesson. Change is also knowing when not to fall down a certain path, so to the young men who might read this blog, know your own strength, know your anger limits and learn to walk away!