Hey y'all..
It has been a while, my apologies. I have been somewhat busy, but I am back now. this blog is titled "No apologies." It's a fitting title given the ish that I have been going through in the last few weeks.
I don't begin to call myself perfect, or to even hint that I am better than other people. I am completely humbled by the experiences that I have been faced with and would never want to actively go out and hurt someone else.
I have spoken candidly about my life and some of the expereinces that I have gone through- abduction etc. and to some people- they think that my writing this blog is a way to perpetuate the ills of the past and to not let go of what I went through. And in some sick way hurt them in the process.
Let me be clear, this blog has no intention to hurt other people. I am sorry if it is preceived that way. My intention is to tell my story, to let other people know that at the end of the day we all face the same or similar problems. At 15 I used to think it was only me, I felt alone, I was lost I didn't imagine that I would have gotten to this point, that I would have experienced some level of freedom to be able to let it all go. I get that people might be taken aback by how "real" I am being and forward, but I'm sorry that if you don't know by now that IS the type of person I am. I don't have time and we don't have time to dilly dally around pleasentries when the real issues are that we don't want to talk about what the real issues are. This to me is problematic and toxic when we hold on to these feelings but to each others faces we try and put on a good front.
I feel that I have to get it out, and again once I have said it the moment has passed. While I understand some people's frustration at what I may say, again I have YET to go into detail about what truly happened. That part of my life is more than a blog it is a chapter or 2 in a novel.
You might be askign where this is comign from. Well the other day I get an email and a phone call from my mother angry about my blog. I hadn't told my mother about it, because while there are some posts about her, it's not as if the ENTIRE blog is about her. Which she took to be the main premise. While I understand that hers and some others feeling scan be hurt by the things I say, I wnat people to realize this is NOT ABOUT YOU!!! These posts are ways for me to analyze moments in my life to come back and see, have I learned from them and what better ways I could have approached them to do better the next time. Secondly I don't, nor will I ever apologize for telling my story. I realize that we have these ideas that certain things should be private, but there is some 15 year old girl out their wishing that someone would have told their story so that they could see that the road isn't as dark as they think it is.
For that I don't have any regrets for the words I write, I understand the implications it has for other people- but I say to an extent then maybe there is something within yourself that needs to be looked at, if you are reacting in this way to a 2-3 line inquiry into my past. Writing these moments down allows me to move forward from the drama and continue to progress to the goals that I have more myself. This does not mean that I am propelling the story of my life as a claim to fame, or hoping that my story gets turned into some sort of "Lifetime Movie." I merely am making the analysis that as people we are a lot closer to each other than we realize, while the context is different the writing on the wall is still the same.
HAve a good one y'all! It's good to be back :D
