Hey y'all, I am writing today with a heavy heart. Last week, I found out that my ex is having a baby. It feels like I am hitting the replay button on the craziest experiences of my life and it really sucks.
But I am not upset at the situation per say, I mean I'm not sad because of the news that I heard, I'm not even sad because of the experience itself. I'm upset and destroyed because this moment brings back the same emotions and feelings I had when I found about TD. It's just made me reopen that wound again and IT SUCKS!!
I guess I am really starting to figure out how much I allowed myself to lock up my feelings for TD and now it's really TOO late. And then there is the other side of it, like is there a sign on my forhead that says if you've dated me, one you'll die young and or 2 you'll end up getting the next girl after me pregnant. Like WTF. And I know that I shouldn't be going through this whole thing, or this whole mindset but it's just I got to go through the emotions I guess in order to get through the drama of this moment.
Ugh, but I feel myself sinking into this dark place inside of me and I don't want to go there, not over this. But let me get it clear, it isn't because of my ex- not hat I didn't care about him or love him. But it's because I am finally realsing what I let pass me by and that sucks. TD has been on my mind and in my heart for a LOOOOONG time and I just now have to deal with the fact that I need to let it go.
There it is..
I'm out y'all.
