Dating 101

Hey y'all sooo where do I begin. Let's start with this, I recently decided that I was thinking/ready to start dating. I made this announcement via my Facebook page and found that quite a few of my friends and family were in agreement that it was time.
  So where to start- why wasn't I dating? Let's see, a series of relationship, but nots in HS. A 2 year half relationship in my first few years of college, sprinkled with this intense intimate friendship with another person that was off and on for a little over 3 years. And then there was Ricky, my last BF. 2 years, and not really sure what happened there. But knew I tried and it just didn't work out.
 But here is my history- friends. Easy right, you know them, they know you- hopefully, flaws and all and you can have fun because you are talking to your friend, but you have the added benefit of them being in a relationship with you, which in some cases can be an added perk. You don't go into relationships with the mindset that they are going to fail, you go into them with the mindset that they are going to go well.  When they fail, you are sort of left with this miserable pain that in some way- YOU Failed.

 Hmm... That's interesting. Needless to say, 2 years after Ricky and I started we ended. I attempted to make that intimate friendship into a relationship only to be a little too late and finally decided that Keesha needed to focus on school and building herself up before she started putting herself in a relationship. I graduated with honors from my Undergrad. Started my Master's program and graduated recently in May.
  The plan had been finish school, get me caught up to where I wanted to be, or at least on the path towards where I wanted to be. And then focus on building the fam. The other part of it was this, I needed to figure out not just who I was as me, but who I was in Christ. So I started my journey back to Grace and in his countenance to build myself up. I didn't want any relationship I jumped in to be made up of the same mistakes of the past. I mean, let's be real. Yeah I have love and appreciation for the men who graced my life, but there is still a part of me who wishes, that I hadn't made some of the choices that I did with those relationships. Some part of me wishes I could collect those little fragments of my heart that I let slip away so that there would be a whole me here when the time came to actually give my heart to the person who deserved it the most.
  Well, I've been on that path to restoration and rebuilding. And now I think it's time for me to at least test the waters, but I am setting some new rules, which probably goes against the point given that I am wanting to date, but here they are:

  Rule 1- no more friends. I get it there is comfort in the friend category, but in my history there is also discomfort and weirdness and trying to rebuild that well, NO THANK YOU. When I think of my future, he will become my BEST FRIEND. Together we will learn about each other, build each other into our lives

 Rule 2- I have to be willing... Truth be told I  hid behind my education as a reason why I wasn't trying to get into a relationship. I had homework or something to do on campus so that meant- I didn't have to go out meet new people or put myself out there. Anytime I went out it was the same place, with the same people, not really opening my options up if my only circles already know me right?!

Rule 3- PRAY! Whatever this next thing is that I open my life to has to be of God. Plain and simple

Yup, so those right now are my three rules. More for me than for the guy(s) coming into my life. As it should be, because really our lists, as women, limit us, NOT them.

 Until next time...

Dating... 1,2,3..

So a while back I wrote about a Promised Love .. I love, love. LOL. I mean I think a lot of people love love, or we wouldn't want it or fall into it. Our hearts are fragile and we tend to spend too much time giving it away and causing it too much pain.
  I have been in fleeting movements of love, but love is of God. He fashioned us to love, to show people love and honor. We were made in His image to care for others and a gift that He gave to us, is to love others.
  I know that I have been setting myself in Him and being focused on Him. I don't expect that this means that I am going to find that next or perfect person, but it does mean that I am open to it. I do have a lot to learn and a lot to grow in, but the truth is I am ready.

 I am ready for my happy and I am ready to at least have a little fun and live a little. I recently made the announcement on FB and it was well received. I can't help but feeling very vulnerable though. I mean it has been a while since I have dated AND I am also thinking about the fact that I am changing my patterns from before- no friends.. Not that I don't think there has been value in that, I just can't do that, not again. Instead I want the person that I spend the rest of my life with to be the person that becomes my best friend.
    So here goes nothing.. And here is to more writing!