Today I closed an amazing chapter in my life, the time that I have spent with the Frederick Douglass Distinguished Scholars. It has been an amazing journey, and reflecting back on these last 2 years I have also had to reflect on the journey of my life in general. I am in awe of the person that I have become.
My walk, nor my life in general has been perfect. I have stumbled and made choices that others might have regretted, but I took EVERY moment as a lesson to NEVER make that same mistake again. I know that there are many people who can look back on their lives and see areas they wish they could take back. Yes, there's a feeling of remorse when I look back on my life and realize that there are many areas where I could have left a better impression for the people I interacted with, but when I see who I am today, I know I couldn't be me without those hiccups along the way.
Sitting in a room with 15 young minds and one person who has imparted so much wisdom in my life, I am in awe of where I am right now. The only answer I have to say is that FAITH brought me here. I talk about my faith quite a lot. Mainly because I knew the woman I wanted to be, needed to have a stronger relationship with Christ. And He knew that day would come, sooner than I had probably bargained with Him for, but in enough time that I could be in this moment, see myself, here my words and see people's reactions to understand that I am right where I need to be.
I've been worried about whether or not I have enough of a foundation to be in the positions that I am. But I have been saying this to many people and then it FINALLY clicked for me. I have x amount of wisdom and experience on the people who are looking to me for advice and mentorship. And even if I feel that it's only two minutes more of experience, that's two minutes more than they had.
I recognize in a REAL way, how much influence I have on the lives of people around me. I am very conscious of the "power of my words" and the value that my words can speak into the lives of others. If someone told me in High School or when I started College that I would be this person, part of me would not have believed it. Through the depression and my own self-destructive behavior, I thought that the world was out to get me. But there was something that I held on to then and something that has come full circle today- I must have been burdened with this life, so that someone else didn't have to experience hell on earth. Furthermore, I must have been burdened with this life for a bigger purpose than the hurt and pain I was in then. I am seeing that second piece fulfilled, everyday that I get to encounter a new person. I am humbled by this gift and so blessed to be standing in this wonderful season with an opportunity to just love on people and to continue to spread a message of Faith to those who might be wavering.
