2023 30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 2

 Hey y'all it's ya girl -- Kee! I didn't put 2 and 2 together that today is January 2nd, which means my last post is a day behind. So here we go with Day 2 of the 2023 30 Day Writing Challenge. 

I told myself I couldn't __________, but now I am trying to ________.

The stories we tell ourselves right? They might not even be words that we speak over ourselves, but it might be the actions we take or the things we don't do. I guess somewhere within me, the thing I told myself is that my achievements are what make me me. It's not that achieving things is not a good thing, but somewhere I conditioned myself that achieving was my ONLY thing. That doing things, even if honorable, was who I am. But I am more than the things I accomplish, the moments of generosity and care. Now I am trying to learn more about who I am, who I want to be. To build a confidence within me that is encouraged to lead and love well. I am giving myself grace when I fall short of my own boundaries/goals. Taking more time to pause in between the moments to enjoy the win. 

At the end of 2021 I had the honor of interviewing two incredible authors, activists, leaders of this generation. The interviews are recorded and I have yet to go back and watch them. I should... 

That's all she wrote...

2023 30 Days of Writing: Day 1

 Hello World, it's ya girl. It's been a minute and there has been a lot that has happened in between --- how often do I say this phrase. It's 2023 and my hope is to reclaim the spaces that made me feel me and free. So I am back. Not sure who or how I will continue to use this space, but it's a record and it makes me happy. 

So as I mentioned it's a new year and with new years of past, this one brings hope, an optimism, a heart felt excitement that time is not done, that there will be more and that what lies ahead for me will be for my best. I don't know what this year will bring, but I know it will bear fruit. If anything from last year there is a harvest that is coming. 

A friend is encouraging a 30 Day Writing Challenge so here goes day 1. 

I'm going to stop disqualifying myself before I have been told "no." I am analytical, I look at risk and determine what is the best step/course of action before I make a decision. Most of the time that I make a decision, I have already calculated in my mind what the outcomes can be. This can be detrimental in conflict, but I digress. The truth is, I often will disqualify myself, disqualify myself from opportunities because I don't think I have the skill, or disqualify myself from relationships (also opportunities). Or even my own growth. But what would it look like to have that mediocre white man energy and just go with it?

And I'm going to start saying "yes" to me more this year. Last year took a toll on my mental health -- sheesh! It forced me after 36 years to confront a lot of things -- don't I just love how I let God push me through the rock bottom moments before I actually start to listen 😒. There have been too many times over the years where the lesson was to slow down, to take a pause and to take care of me --- COVID, the global time-out. Having a calf injury where I was on crutches. My blood tumor removed from my leg. My ankle breaking and then finally my mental breakdown. What it taught me, I need to put my facemask on first. I give of myself so much that I often forget that I need to take care of me too. Well the time is now. 

That's all she wrote...