Happy, Single and finally loving me

It's only fitting that I am writing this on Valentine's Day. The truth is I have never really been a fan of the commercial "Hallmark Holiday," that is Valentine's Day. Some might argue that this is because I haven't been in relationships to know and understand "the value" of Valentine's Day.

Okay world, truth- I have not been in that many relationships. Why? Being that vulnerable to someone else scares the life out of me. Feeling as if I need to be that dependable to someone else freaks me out. I know that I might have a twisted idea of what love and relationships are and that is the reason that I am totally okay with my single status.
  The reality is while part of me would love to be in a relationship, the truth is I am too selfish with my life right now. The convenience  of being able to pick up the phone and almost always having someone to hang with is cool, buuuuut that's not the only reason why you are in a relationship.

My selfishness is that I enjoy my independence. I enjoy my freedom, not really having to think about another person. And that might seem messed up but that's the reality.

The other truth is I'm not surely full I have let go of my stupidity. Being non-committal for so long I don't know what or how to be in a relationship with someone else. Annnnd there is a lot that I have to forgive about and in myself before I put myself out for another person.

Do I believe in love, yes. The greatest example of an unconditional love is Jesus Christ. I have been one who has believed the false love of people close to me and have been working towards understanding what the bible and His example says of me.

Do I have a lot to learn yes?

Am I knocking anyone who is blessed to be in a relationship? No, because the value of having you in my life is that I get to learn what love is by having great examples around me.

To friends and family who constantly tell me I am getting older, my clock is ticking and I need to be on the search.... There are many more priorities I have then making myself a standard of someone's affection.

I trust that when that time comes I will be ready. I trust that when that time comes that what I want for my life, to be a wife and mother  will happen. And it will be perfect because He is at the center.

The reality is I'm not in a rush to figure this out. I'm enjoying the journey and honestly I'm enjoying getting to know myself.

If you can't be happy and content in your single life, do you really think adding someone else is going to make it better?

Lessons learned, single and loving it

There is something about Love..

It's interesting for someone like myself who doesn't really like the word love to use it as much as I have recently. The reality is I don't like the word love, because it gets used too loosely and no one in my opinion uses it with the pride and the care that it should be represented as.

I am always hesitant to use the word, but in my walk with Christ and my genuine love of the Church He has set me in, I have very much enjoyed using the word and blessing people with it. To tell people that you LOVE them, is a gift a blessing and a true honor. My church finds joy when using that word. It is a blessed word, a God word a gift that while I think some people do not cherish, I am finding examples of where that word has value. I am finding examples where that word is true and I am finding examples of where I am getting more and more comfortable to use it.