Not seeking perfection, just seeking HIM

Hey y'all:
 It's interesting that when my world is going "right" I don't find as much time to check-in and actually write. But when my world and my emotions are on the fritz, that's when you tend to see and hear the most of me.
What I find so interesting about that, is that it almost parallel's my relationship with God. I tend to only seek Him, when the world is crashing in on me. But I don't spend nearly enough time praising Him and thanking Him for what He has helped me triumph in and succeed in.

 This last week, I went from my highest up in a while, to a low. Definitely not my lowest low, because this is only a season and will pass, and because I have been hurt more deeply in my life prior to this experience and I AM STILL STANDING here today- why because of God's Grace and His ability to redeem all things.
But I went from being Baptized  feeling full and feeling so energized to take on the world, and now I walk a little less energized. I have come into some friction with two friendships and that has always been a tough thing for me to deal with in general. Friends for me ARE my family. They are where I invest my time and energy. A big reason, if you have not read my previous blogs, is because I have had a tumultuous relationship with my own flesh and blood. But when you get to build your family, by choosing those to be in your life, there is power and something more refreshing in that. But when those members that you choose to spend time with and build loyalty for, cause you pain in some way, it hurts--- a little deeper than when a family member bruises you.

While, I am not as thick skinned and able to hide my emotions as I want to, I do know this. I am not perfect. I am not seeking perfection. I am simply walking out this life with the focus of what He has set on my heart. It  means for me that I, step out in Faith hoping that I am reflecting His best image and not my own. When I fall short, I hope that the people in my life do not judge me, hold it against me or continue to exploit those short comings.

 Losing friendships definitely takes a toll on me. And I realize that I keep coming back to this phrase that says " People are in your life for a reason and a season.." Sometimes God closes that door and it's not meant to be open (Jimmy and Anika).  But at the end of the day, there is one person that I can call my constant friend- God. He has always been there! He will always be here! Calling out to me and building me up in those moments when I feel defeated.
  There used to be a point in my life where I would get angry at those who I felt disappointed me or pushed me away. Instead, though I have learned to pray. He can REDEEM! and that is what I stand in right now.

So while I might not be a perfect reflection of what others in my life would like- I am a perfect reflection in what He wants. He wants me to seek Him.

Lord, I leave it to you.. For it is you alone who can transform and restore that which has been broken.

I surrender All

On May 12, 2013 I made one of the best decisions of my life. I chose to say "yes" to the Lord, in front of my friends and Godly family. It was a declaration of my faith and something that was in my mind necessary on this journey I have in building with God. 

To some this might seem odd, as Catholics we are baptized into the Faith by our families and friends. It is an outwardly declaration of others that we are in God's hand. It's a dedication. But the work has to be on the individual- I have to want it just as bad as the people who are dedicating me. In the last two years I have found an AMAZING Church home- The City Church DC . This Church has changed me in so many ways. Being a part of the City Church has definitely opened up my heart and my perspective on the world I walk in every day.  In my journey to His house, I have been transformed. He has set me in this great place that has continued to transform my life. The best thing about hearing and being responsive to the call He has on my life, is that I have been able to shed a lot of weight of past pain. I am able to walk forward in the path He has set me on, with no fear of what my past transgressions can do to me. I walk forward with my head held high, knowing that no mater what the enemy tries to throw my way, I have God on my side. A God who wants to bless me and see me win in this battle of life. I just needed to say yes to Him.

 I have spent my young adult life running from Him. And I will spend the rest of my life running towards Him and FOR Him. 

So on May 12, 2013, I affirmed what my parents and family did for me more than 26 years ago- They asked God in front of our family and friends to take care of me. To guide me and watch me grow. Through their prayers they guided me to this place to say- Lord, I surrender All to you. That as I walk the next 26 years of my life, that He has control. 

To my friends and family who dedicated me almost 26 years ago- Thank You. Thank you for your prayers, for your continued love. To those who stood up in Faith with me on that Sunday- Lindsay & Chris Whipple, Tristine Harris, Kathy LaTorre, Madeline Dinh, Alex Grimes and Dolores Garcia- and my family of the City Church DC, thank you for paving the way and praying me into my destiny.

On my Baptism Day- Ps. Michael asked what this day means to me- I said one word-- "Fulfillment ______________." But there is a blank after that word, because it means so many things. Fulfillment of a life that has more living to do, a life that has more blessings to give. Fulfillment of a dream that God provided Abraham and Sarah so long ago. He picked me, He counted me, He called me. 

I don't know what the next few years of my life have for me, but I do know that trusting Him is easy- because looking back on the last years of my life, He has done MARVELOUS WORKS.

If you haven't said yes to the call He has on your life- please do so today. Speak to Him and ask Him to set you in a place that will transform you the way His house has transformed me. Ask Him for restoration, for renewal. Ask Him that His voice be louder in your life than what you have been listening to in the past. 

I'm here, praying for you and into your life, that whatever your circumstances, there is a God who is greater, stronger and more able to take you from where you are to what He has planned for you. He wants to bless you, protect you and keep you as His own. Trust in Him.

With love,
 Keesha