An Open Letter to #TEAMBREEZY

Hey there TeamBREEZY and those who are anti-Chris Brown:
  I normally try to keep out of the drama that is celebrity lifestyles. I may comment from time to time with friends and amongst my inner circle, but I normally do not get involved in the social media outlet as a way to enter into the back and forth or the sides of lifestyles that are not my own. But this is a time that I do need to comment and I do need to stand by something that I think needs to be discussed.
  The other night was the 54th Annual Grammy Awards. Under the excitement of one of the biggest award shows of the year, there was a somber tone that swept the audience, the nation and the world. Saturday afternoon the world lost another shining figure in the music industry- Ms. Whitney Houston, passed away at the age of 48 of causes unknown. Each time the news covers her story, they flash a date that sticks out for me like a sore thumb- my birthday, one that I shared with Ms. Houston. It's sad to know that someone so full of life, so full of energy and talent, could also have a troubled life that could ultimately be the reason that her time here on earth was cut so short. The world has seen it's share of lost talent too soon- Dorothy Dandrige, Marylin, Elvis, MJ and now Ms. Houston. These last two artists are artists that have been admired by all industries for their gifts that they gave to the world to be apart of. And in probably similar tragedies, both faced a brutal set of years before their deaths under the microscope of public opinion and media attention. It's enough that they have their own pressures of life, but to add to that the success they both received, it's devastating to see and be witness to these truly remarkable artists' lives cut short.
  I believe a lot can be learned from the tragic lives of MJ and Whitney, not just for the people who are in similar positions to them, but also to the fans, the world who wants to get in their lives deeper.
  Chris Brown in my opinion is a rising star, who has his faults. Yes , we all know the story of him and Rhianna. What Chris Brown did was unacceptable, deplorable and should never be applauded or made the butt of a joke. Domestic violence is a REAL problem throughout the world. And if we keep making it a joke we perpetuate these problems more and more. But when people call me disgusting for my support of Chris Brown the artist, I can't wrap my head around it. When people say that he shouldn't have "gotten off" because he is famous, etc, it baffles me. Why? Chris Brown has paid his debt to society. He was convicted, he served his time, he is trying to move forward with his life and the world will not let him. I understand that he'll forever have this scarlet letter attached to his name, but he did what he was supposed to do in accorandance with the law that punished him. It wasn't as if Chris Brown paid to have the case go away. He went to court, he was penalized and now as the purpose of the justice system, he should be able to reenter society. It's not to say that he is not due a level of judgement, or that the world should just act like it never happened. But what I am saying is, how long will we continue to demonize someone who has done what he was supposed to within the system that we uphold? What is the time limit that we as a society want to set? 3 years seems to not be enough. Being on probation, following the limits of the court system, participating in anger management sessions and completing community service seems to not be enough. I am not saying that all should be forgiven, there is a serious problem with Domestic Violence in the United States that needs to be addressed, but using Chris Brown as capital to continue to put this issue on the public agenda is not the way. Chris Brown did not make Domestic Violence an issue, he just happened to make it a focal point of this decade, an important focal point. And like those men that we know before him ( Ike Turner etc) his name will forever be associated with this issue, but he is not the root of the problem, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS! I think we are investing all of our energy in making a bigger deal about Chris Brown's life than we are on the issue itself.

     To deny him a chance to do what he loves is inexcusable, simply because who are we to judge. If you don't like him, do not watch him, do not listen to him. The Grammy's are a place for which talent is fostered and awarded, regardless of the lives that these artists have lead. There are countless Grammy artists and performers who have questionable lives, Rappers who have killed countless people by providing for their drug addictions, alcoholics, womanizers etc.   We  do not seek them out to make amends for their past, or make them examples of the lifestyles they used to lead. We know the rappers who pushed crack cocaine during their younger years, they talk about it in their raps, but we don't make them come out in a commercial talking about how they "live above the influence." We don't ask them to go into High Schools and talk to high school students about their old habits. Every time we talk about drugs we do not associate their names, instead we celebrate these artists, we applaud who they are now and yet we don't question their acts of the past.

   Chris Brown  does not make being a fan easy. It's in this backdrop that I address Team BREEZY, also known as Chris Brown's fan base. As a fan of his art it frustrates me to see someone so talented  continuing to fall so hard. It makes me wonder who is supporting him, who are his role models, who guides him provides him a place to grow? Why does it seem that there is no one standing in his corner reminding him that this was the life he chose? Most specifically this situation between him and Rihanna, he wasn't going to have an easy road ahead and quite frankly he didn't deserve an easy road. Who is reminding him that his process, his growth, his stability was going to come from years of anger management sessions, prayer and deep reflection? Throwing chairs out windows & cursing people on Twitter are not "proper" responses to critics. It shows that there is still a level of growth that he needs to take. Like the names I mentioned before, those artists that have gone too soon, I am fearing that he doesn't get pushed too far that he ends up a tragedy like them. I pray that someone with his level of talent, finds peace in doing what he loves, not for the people who don't agree with him, but for the people who despite his shortcomings recognize that he is talented and that talent should be honored, even if the man that creates that talent needs to grow up.

  To his fans, whom he calls " My Everything" , where are we showing our support for him? Instead we have our own maturity to deal with. Tweeting dumb things like "He can beat me anytime," not learning at all from this situation. Domestic Violence is not a joke, she may not look like the image that was splashed across the page, but Rihanna is a victim/survivor. There are countless other women where Domestic Violence is an everyday occurrence, it is not a joke, it is not something that you can make a punch line, it is something very real, something that needs to be addressed and something that we cannot teach our kids as funny. People have died, women, children and men from the outcomes of Domestic Violence. But to blame Chris Brown for their ignorance is unacceptable. Where are we as mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, god mothers? Where are we as strong women, strong examples of  what respect of women should be? Instead the images teaching our young girls are The Real Housewives of (this city or that), Jersey Shore, Mob Wives, Basketball Wives, and Love & Hip Hop where the women are fighting each other, throwing drinks, cursing out guys and calling each other "Bs." Furthermore, we have shows like Charm School and Bad Girls Club,  shows continuing to  teach our young girls based on the worst examples of who we want to be. Shows like these foster  environments of disrespect of others and of self. These images tease out the phrases "he can beat me anytime," without even realizing what they do. But instead of taking up why women thinks it is okay to say these things, we blame Chris Brown. Saying it's his fault that there is this disjointed understanding of what happened, when the real travesty is ignorance, PERIOD.

  There is a lot of work that needs to be done, and it doesn't start with Chris Brown, it starts with us.

A little bit of reflection

I am in such a good place right now. I have a lot to look forward to in life and a lot more life to live. My life has not been the easiest of roads traveled, for many of us it has been tough. But when we are able to live with our heads held high, still kicking and screaming for that next moment it's all the more fulfilling and all the more exciting.
   Sure there are tough times, but the rough spots that we have been through make these situations seem like mere annoyances. I have prayed to be at American University, I have been blessed with seeing that dream come true. I prayed to get a Master's Degree as well and I am a few short weeks away from that experience as well. I prayed for peace of mind to let go of some areas in my life that have been broken and I am moving past these situations.
  God has been a wonderful gift in my life. His grace and mercy have been so overwhelming but a good overwhelming. I am about to graduate in May, I have no idea what comes next in my life, but I am so excited for the ride. I am about to be 27 with a Master's Degree. That seems like not a lot of time left to live my life, but every day that I get to be happy, excited and just ready for a new day is another day I have. Something to look forward to, something to be motivated for and now I can continue to make plans, pray for different experiences and move forward in my life. I can devote more time to the things I love, to serving others to serving God and to just being happy and content with the little graces I have been given.
  There is a protection over my life and I am just so ready for the next chapter! God is sooo good!

God is SOOO good!

Hey y'all it has been a while since I have written. And by the title of this blog, you can only get that I am going to be talking about how AWESOME God has been in my life. I do not know if you believe in Him, but I want to tell you why I am so in awe of Him.
   A good friend of mine was recently in a car accident. She broke both her legs, she is missing a knee, she has a rod in one leg and is about to have a new knee and another rod in the other. She has a broken elbow and no other significant damage. I mean her face has like one or two scraps, not even visible unless you are right up close to her. She has some bruising on her pelvis, but that is all. For us, that seems like a lot. To say that is all, seems like an understatement. For one person to experience this especially someone in her early 20s, you would look at this situation and be so unsure of what comes next and how to proceed. But for HIM, this is a small stone.
   My friend is alive, when she could not have been, not only is she alive she is HERSELF. She is still full of energy, full of life. She is so full of FAITH, and so confident in His love for her that she is just- AWESOME!
 I have friends who have only heard "how bad the accident was," I have friends who are thinking the worst. I mean even I thought the worst until I spoke to her (via BBM) and realized it's Kathy, same ole Kathy, like nothing changed. She is so full of spirit and just so thankful to be alive and knows how much He loves her. And when you see her, all the fear and worry washes away.
  I went to the hospital this morning, only speaking to her via BBM- and yes as I mentioned when I got her message I knew she was good. But sometimes you have to see it. So I saw her today and just seeing her, that fear, that worry was lifted. I mean just lifted. And I am sure there are a lot of people who might be in her position who are in a different state than she is, but God has been so good to her, watching over her, protecting her, helping her through this, healing her. That I know she will bounce back from this like nothing happened.
  I just needed to share this. God has been an ever present grace in my life, I have not always been ready to receive Him until recently. Since I have come to have a stronger relationship with Him, I have just been blown away by all that He does, and all because He loves me. We do so much in life to tune Him out, to live it on our own, but He is more faithful than one could ever imagine. He stands by us even when we say we don't need Him, or want Him. He continues to love us through our imperfections. He knows our heart and loves us even though it is in dire need of repair.
  So to those of you who do not know God, ask Him to speak to you as you read this. Because He is so wonderful, so awesome, so loving, it will be the best gift you could ever receive.

Have a BLESSED night!