Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What I have learned from Kim and Kris

Hey y'all so you're probably looking at this and wondering what the heck- This woman that I have been following for a while cannot seriously be about to school me on Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, and well yes, yes I am. Why? Because there is a lot to learn from them.

Allow me to school you for just a second. And I know I do not have a degree in psychology.

  I get that people believe the hype- 72 day marriage, celebutante, young b-ball star asking for drama. I'm not saying that I am the best friend that gets it, but I get it. There is a lot to learn from Kim and Kris' relationship whether you believe it or not. There are two sides to every story and luckily the Kardashian brand puts their story in front of the entire world to see. I know that everyone painted Kim to be an attention queen and the tabloids portrayed Kris as the young athlete that didn't know how to keep his wife and settle down etc. And some of these things are true- sorry Kardashian's I love your show, but it's true. Kim's career is important to her, every decision she makes in the spotlight is calculated, she is thinking about her brand and how to propel her to the next level. This is something that she has wanted for a long time and people might not believe that she deserves to be in the spotlight that she is in, but let's face it, she EARNED it. We are hooked, she is on the cover of magazines, in commercials, films. She is talked about all the time and regardless of whether we as a society pay that much attention to her, there is a plethora of people who do.
 Kris, he is young, fell in love with an ambitious, older woman who he put a lot of faith in. He comes from a small intimate family, in a small little town that he loves. Grew up in a very different environment and probably with very different ambitions. Maybe not being as involved in the spotlight as much as she is. A little more reserved a little more grounded  in the sort of every day average family lifestyle. Not the Hollywood every day in your face spotlight. It was fun being attached to one of the world's "most wanted women" and then to add that he loves her and she loves him, hello!


So now put those two together. They meet, they like each other they start falling in love. And with the accelerated lifestyle that Kim has they rapidly walk down the aisle and now have the pressures of the world to deal with. Watching this season's Kourtney and Kim take New York has opened my eyes to so many things. Kris and Kim are asking all of the questions about their relationship that they should have done BEFORE they got married- where are they going to live, do they want kids, when, what parts of their lifestyle do they both have to change. It's one thing. Compromises have to be made, sacrifices need to as well. For Kris he needs to recognize that the wife he wants, someone who is ambitious but supports the family lifestyle that he is used to is not Kim. He keeps comparing Kim to Khloe and it's causing drama between the two sisters. In Kris' defense he loves the balance that he sees in Khloe and Lamar's relationship and he wants time with his wife. In Kim's defense she is on a rollercoaster ride that isn't slowing down and he doesn't get it- only in my opinion.  I think they really come from two different worlds, but they didn't take the time to work out those differences.
 Kim's family is like mine, we KNOW practically everything. You don't just marry one of us you marry the entire clan, not that decisions are made with the entire family alone, but there are some of those decisions that have to be made as a couple and I don't think they- Kim and the rest of the Kardashian clan understand that or respect that when another member joins the family.
  Ultimately there has to be a person who can really "Keep up" with them. I feel bad for Kris, he is young, was in love and probably way over his head, dealing with the increase of fame he was getting while still wanting his own autonomy. Kim is 30, not that much older in retrospect, but she understands the business aspect of Hollywood, she has built an empire and it is continuing to grow, she essentially is in her prime and there is no chance that she is going to slow down.
  So their marriage is over, what do we learn:
  1. Communication is key
  2. Patience in love, if you are meant to be, you can wait- find out the details of each person
  3. DO NOT move in with another family (Kim & Kris moving in with Scott, Kourtney and Mason) not the best move when you are Newlyweds, there is a lot of growth that happens.

I wish them the best in what comes next and I hope they learn from the mistakes of the past and maybe we can take a little bit from them too.

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