Hey y'all, I hope that your 2012 has been off to a good start. The ending of 2011 was such an amazing blessing that I was so looking forward to 2012. I had found a Church home, and have been blessed with great and consistent friends who have taught me, laughed with me, cried with me and cherished me over the last few years and more. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with school and while I have fears about the next steps in my life, I am building confidence in the Faith that I will be taken care of.
I spent NYE in New Orleans with a good friend of mine and we had a great time. I made changes in my life, as I prepare for the half marathon I am running I have decided to cut alcohol out of my system. Probably will be for good, but for now the half marathon is what is motivating me to cut it out. I have committed to getting more involved in my Church and have made choices and considerations to the future.
2012 rang in with a bang and then reality hit. I got back to DC and work and school to realize that adversity is my middle name. Faced with a cancellation of my financial aid, not knowing what will happen with my classes, unsure of whether or not I will have a job at the end of the year. Reminded that time waits for no one, understanding that I am 26 and no where closer to the love that I hope to be in. Basically let's just say the first week of 2012 brought back a lot of doubt that I would be able to reach the goals that are right at my finger tips. Furthermore, someone who I thought was a good friend, is now having doubts in our friendship. Angry about things that have not yet been revealed to me and caused me to really wonder about what type of person I am. I know that I have a heart that is open, but when the people who I would least expect to be angry with me, turn against me I wonder what have I done. The truth is, we haven't been the best of friends over the last few years. I mean we talk, but we haven't been close. I think that the recent close proximity of the two of us has been challenging, because we are beginning to see that we are in two different places. I know that for me personally, I need us to work on being better friends, if she even wants to be better friends. I am at a loss to know what I have done to make her angry, because I have never seen this side of her before. But part of me is resistant to wanting to pursue anything else. Partially because I don't know how to move forward. I am hurt that she can not talk to me about it, and instead chooses to ignore me. It's frustrating when I want to work something out, and am not giving the opportunity to do so.
So my church is fasting for 21 days, I think it couldn't come at a better time considering that I am having the best start to 2012 EVER! So through this 21 days of fasting and prayer I am praying for revelations, that I become humble and grow in His Grace. I love the Lord, He has done and continues to do some remarkable things in my life. I can only hope to continue to live on the path He has created for me and for no other reason but for His mercy and grace. The character of my spirit will grow because of how I live my life, the way He lived/s.
Let's just say, there is nothing different in 2012 then 2011 in the fact that there is no rest, I still have to grind for what it is that I want to achieve, but I have a mighty power and strength behind me. A friend in Jesus Christ!
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