So eventually I hope to actually start talking more in depth about myself. It's been a while since I have written about me in a journal or anything, and so immediately going to writing it for the world to see is somewhat nerve wracking.
I realize that this blog started off as a class project, hence all the multimedia posts etc, but now Keesha's World is literally about MY world.. So right now it's sort of easy to talk about my world through music until I am ready to really talk. So in the meantime here goes nothing. If you must know music is sort of my life.. I LOVE music! I mean I get that a lot of people LOVE music, but I LOVE it. If I could, I would try to produce one day or do entertainment law or PR for someone in the industry. If I could work for a big label that would be awesome. Anyways music speaks volumes to me, I listen to a song and it marks critical moments in my life.
This song was a song that got me through a crazy time in High School lol. First loves, etc. But the moment that this song sort of changed was when my once best friend heard it on my voice mail. Yes back in the day we recorded songs for our voice mail before that good ole callertune and ringback became the fashion. Anyways that old best friend of mine heard the song and was floored. The rif is beautiful and the combination of Monica and DMX was just a great one. This song didn't get much play, but if you found it you fell in love with it. The song is powerful too, I mean a little love triangle- DRAMA?! But it was more than that, there was intrigue and passion.
Needless to say, my old best friend and I are no longer friends. His doing... Don't ask because I don't even know what happened. He just sort of pushed me away, so that is hard to deal with. Oh here I go. Backstory.. I had the biggest school girl crush on him for the longest. When I first met him I was 15 years old, working at Chili's and he was what 18-19. Anyways when a person first starts working at Chili's especially hosts, they generally get pushed to the back burner.. Well let's just call him J, was really nice to me. I mean he used to joke with me at the host stand and was just nice. Then we became friends, love of music etc. He was an aspiring rapper, pretty good too. (Hence the music production thingy) He would take me out to his producer's house sometimes and it was just nice to hang around him. We were great friends I mean whether or not I was his best friend he definitely was mine! We talked about everything, he was my guy advice, which was weird. Saved me from fighting some people on more than one occasion. He was just a great peerson to be around. Then he quit working at Chili's. We didn't drift though, I mean we would meet up go out for lunch etc. In between that period though he started dating one of my good friends. Which killed me, there was a moment when I was pissed at her, which was weird not him. Me and her are cooler than ever though, J and I well that's another story. One day he just sort of fell off, stopped texting me, didn't return any calls. He would run into mutual friends and not think to call or ask how I was doing. I pleaded with him to figure out what was going on and he never responded. I moved to NY and tried to keep the door open, but that still didn't work. Which was tough, I really needed him when I moved to NY. Going through life changes, he had always wanted to head out to NY and there was a huge music scene that I was getting into. But he never responded. He ended up getting on FB, I sent him a tearful 3 page message and just told him that I am done. I used to send texts every year on his birthday- his birthday is coming up in July, but I have to stop it isn't easy being a friend to someone who doesn't respond or want to keep in touch. Anyways that is neither here nor there. This song just happens to remind me so much of him and our friendship. If one day J decides to hit me up, I will be there for him no questions asked. It just sucks losing people without knowing what you did. Especially when you have to hear about their life through the grapevine and when it used to be you getting the first call.
So here is the song : Monica featuring DMX " Don't gott go home". It was off of her After the Storm album, an album that came out of a realtionship she had where she watched her friend committ suicide. Interestingly enoguh (for lack of a better phrase) After the storm was not supposed to be the album that dropped that year. Monica had done some remakes of Michael Jackson songs that year- This album was highly anticipated for me! But I still love After the Storm
Don't Gotta Go Home"
(feat. DMX)
[DMX]
Aint no sense whining about it now
I mean we knew what it was when we became apart of it, feel me
{Monica}
Yeah
[DMX]
Its Like
[Monica]
There’s something on your mind, I can see right through you
I know your girl been treating you wrong
But she aint no good for you, why do u hold it inside
Boy you should let me know, I just want to make you right
Be the one you could cry on
[DMX]
Baby, its like, its like I love my wife
We going through things and I aint going home tonight
You got time for a nigga or is he still with you
Wanna meet at the same spot or should I come get you
I’ll be there in 10, be in the front
I been getting what I need so imma give you what you want
One on one cuz you know how to talk to dog
You walk the dog and understand that New York is hard
[Monica (DMX)]
You aint gotta go home tonight
You can stay right here with me (I aint goin nowhere when you wake up im gonna be right there)
Don’t you worry bout a thing (I aint worried about shit)
You’re here with me (Look its like I love my wife
We going through things and I aint going home tonight alright)
[Monica]
It’s kinda strange when you call she is never home
Now your there all alone and you deserve so much more
Baby, I can treat you better than she can
It doesn’t make sense to keep on loving and keep on trusting
When in return all you get is nothing
[DMX]
Damn, you got me fucked up and im feeling it more
Never had a mistress distressed before
Come on ma, like it aint that deep
Like there aint no love there like I don’t hate that I gotta creep
We go to sleep in each others arms
And I feel like this is where I belong
And if loving you is right then I aint wrong
This is the same ol’ song, wife and fam’
Gotta be a father and husband but I am still ya man
Baby
[Monica (DMX)]
You aint gotta go home tonight
You can stay right here with me (I aint goin nowhere when you wake up im gonna be right there)
Don’t you worry bout a thing (I aint worried about shit)
You’re here with me (Look its like I love my wife
We going through things and I aint going home tonight alright)
[Monica (DMX)]
This situation is getting critical (uh huh)
I watch so many tears fall (uh huh)
I know she not what you want
So why do u keep holding on
When im right here (What)
All you need to do is call (What)
Don’t be afraid cuz she wont know it
[Monica (DMX)]
You aint gotta go home tonight
You can stay right here with me (I aint goin nowhere when you wake up im gonna be right there)
Don’t you worry bout a thing (I aint worried about shit)
You’re here with me (Look its like I love my wife
We going through things and I aint going home tonight alright)
You aint gotta go home tonight
You can stay right here with me (I aint goin nowhere when you wake up im gonna be right there)
Don’t you worry bout a thing (I aint worried about shit)
You’re here with me (Look its like I love my wife
We going through things and I aint going home tonight alright)
Stay with me
Let me know what you think, I'm out...
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