Do No Harm (Pt. 1)

(Originally published on 7/24/2018; edited on 7/28/2018)

Hey world,

1 John 4:11-12 says Since God loved us that much, we surely ought to LOVE each other.

A few weeks ago I got some news about the sudden loss of a friend. This news shocked me and I am still trying to figure out how to catch my breath from what feels like a socking and  like the wind has completely been pulled from my sails.

The thing is grief or shocking moments, can cause us to respond in specific ways. Each time we might be faced with the same "attack," our response might be different, it might not always be the same. But, there are times that the way we respond to experiences that happen to us or around us have some tells. There are patterns in how we might respond.

As a Christian, I hold tightly to a scripture in 2 Corinthians that says Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17-18 NIV)

When I said yes, to God and committed my life to His ways, it meant that my old was gone. It meant that the ways in which I viewed the world, responded to the world, reacted towards the world would be different. It certainly didn't mean it would be overnight, but it meant that in time, my way of responding to the world, situations or experiences would be less like me and more like God--- AMEN!

Over the years in my walk, I have watched this progression happen. I have seen God change my heart from the inside out. I have seen the rough parts of my exterior and interior smooth and soften. Things like being quick with a cold or sharp word--- Fighting. Cursing, excessive boozing, drugging--- essentially numbing. Those things over the years have fallen away. But there are times when something I thought was dead, something I thought I had overcome, comes out again and I realize, there is still more work to be done.

This experience happened, in how I responded to the loss of my friend. When I first heard the news I erupted with emotions. I was saddened by the loss. Then that sadness turned to numbing, it happened so quickly I wasn't even aware. See I only gave myself one day to respond. I cried my tears and then I moved through the rest of my life, until it was time to lay this friend to rest. It was in that moment and seeing our friends grieve that how I handled that grief, that pain, was numbing. At the bottom of more drinks than I should have.

With the lubrication of a drink, my response to the people around me wasn't that of a new creation. It was a resurgence of the old me.

You see, as I have matured in Christ, I adopted this philosophy in interacting with people-- Do No Harm. This philosophy is adapted from the medical field. My mom was a surgeon and I was familiar with the oath that medical professionals take when they recite the Hippocratic Oath--- "First, do no harm." What does that mean exactly? For me in my walk and this journey as a Christian, it means the following.

Do No Harm:
1. Saying yes to Jesus
2. Building a relationship with Jesus through: Daily Prayer and Reading the Word

Establishing this foundation is the process of becoming a new creation.  It's in this foundation that we allow God to do the work in our lives and smooth out those rough spots. It's in this that He transforms us from the inside out, that we start to reflect God's response in the world around us.

In this foundation, how we respond to situations, relationships, PEOPLE changes! For me do no harm was/is especially important when it comes to relationships. I have this other thought that "Broken people, continue to harm and break broken people." We live in a broken world and until we say yes to Jesus and allow God to transform us we will continue to respond to those around us from a broken filter. Rather than the filter of Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness that God gives us.

I know in reflecting in my life, that I did harm to many of the relationships I was in, particularly in high school and into my mid 20s. I was rough with people, careless with people in so many ways. Not because I intended to be, but simply because I didn't know any better. I didn't know that how I responded to people was harmful, not just to them but towards myself as well.

As I matured in God, I started to realize my old way of responding to people wasn't helpful. It wasn't encouraging, it wasn't edifying, it wasn't reflecting the presence of God in my life. But God!-- soon enough, focusing on Him, making Him central in my life. Saying yes to Him, building my relationship with Him, allowed my filter of RELATING to People change. Instead of me relating to people out of my "not knowing" I learned a new way of relating to people--- GOD's Way! Amen!

His way of extending forgiveness, Grace, Mercy and love.

So waking up in the aftermath of how I responded to my friend's sudden death, I slipped. I reverted to that old filter. If I can be truthful, it made me feel small. It made me feel like I had failed. It made me feel like I missed the mark-- those things are true.

In this moment of reflecting, I feel like I am not worthy to bear the identity of Christian. Because "First, do no harm." And in my reflection, I have done harm.

How do you recover from that moment?

I think often our first response when we miss our mark is to isolate, to hold ourselves on the mat and keep laying into ourselves about who we think we are instead of who God SAYS we are--FORGIVEN.

I shrunk back, I tiptoed into depression, I wanted to isolate. I wanted to be punished for my actions.
I wanted to wallow in the misery to not allow myself to feel God's love, to not allow God to forgive me because I wasn't ready to forgive myself.

So how do you recover?

1. Remember whose we belong and who we said yes to- God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
2. Pray-- give it up to the Lord. You see, when we become a new creation it didn't mean it would be instantaneous.  Like an onion we have layers and with each peeling of a layer there is something fresh coming forth. But is also means that there is new revelation of an area we might not have been aware of as well.

Pray and say thank you God for revealing another space in which you can turn over to Him and allow Him to work in you.

3. Recall what God says about you- HE LOVES YOU!

I feel like this is a work in progress so for now that's all she wrote folks...