Hello there.. This is a moment when I share more of my truths a little bit more. If you have been following my blog then you have gotten a little taste of who I am at the core. So here is another part of the layer being pulled off.
The news lately has been covered in the sudden death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman. As the news continued to cover his death, it was determined that he struggled with a drug addiction and had overdosed at the time of his death.
Whenever I hear of people dying of drug addiction it definitely strikes a chord with me. I mean I spent the larger part of my high school career counting the grade I was in, by the drugs I did. While I am blessed to live now. It saddens me that there are many people who aren't that lucky. Those of us who were in my circle have the stories of a friend, or ourselves who went in too deep. We will carry mistakes and choices with us for the rest of our lives. And every time we hear that someone died from a drug overdose, or whose path just turned them far from the person they once were, the thoughts that at least go through my head, are "Thank God I was saved." I feel for the families and friends left behind. I feel for the families and friends who have to worry as much as they do, that they will not be the story plastered over the news. There are countless others who are not as well known as the actors who have recently died from the effects of a drug addiction.
To them this post is for you....
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Finding my words...
... Hey Y'all
It has been a while since I have written. Trying to get my sea-legs.. For someone like myself who loves speaking, who has a fascination with words etc, it is definitely a test when I am tasked with finding my own voice.
For those of you who don't know I am active on social media, follow my tweets- @njc89 . In the mornings I am known by my friends and followers for posting different quotes and comments to get people motivated for the day. My brother-n-law has been an active cheerleader, in wanting the "Morning Inspirations" as they are aptly titled to inspire motivation for others, but he wants to encourage me to use my own voice. Which has put me in the biggest road block and one of the biggest moments of discomfort.
I love quotes, I love what other people's words have done to inspire me. But to think of my life and that which motivates me in 140 characters or less, is a lot to think about. I don't sit around writing those great thoughts that come to my head. Although I could make a claim that I should spend more time doing so.
So with that for those of you who follow my words both in this blog and through my other spheres, please be in agreement with me that I find my words.
That my discomfort does not cause lack for those who are looking and seeking that inspiration.
-That's all she wrote...
It has been a while since I have written. Trying to get my sea-legs.. For someone like myself who loves speaking, who has a fascination with words etc, it is definitely a test when I am tasked with finding my own voice.
For those of you who don't know I am active on social media, follow my tweets- @njc89 . In the mornings I am known by my friends and followers for posting different quotes and comments to get people motivated for the day. My brother-n-law has been an active cheerleader, in wanting the "Morning Inspirations" as they are aptly titled to inspire motivation for others, but he wants to encourage me to use my own voice. Which has put me in the biggest road block and one of the biggest moments of discomfort.
I love quotes, I love what other people's words have done to inspire me. But to think of my life and that which motivates me in 140 characters or less, is a lot to think about. I don't sit around writing those great thoughts that come to my head. Although I could make a claim that I should spend more time doing so.
So with that for those of you who follow my words both in this blog and through my other spheres, please be in agreement with me that I find my words.
That my discomfort does not cause lack for those who are looking and seeking that inspiration.
-That's all she wrote...
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy, Single and finally loving me
It's only fitting that I am writing this on Valentine's Day. The truth is I have never really been a fan of the commercial "Hallmark Holiday," that is Valentine's Day. Some might argue that this is because I haven't been in relationships to know and understand "the value" of Valentine's Day.
Okay world, truth- I have not been in that many relationships. Why? Being that vulnerable to someone else scares the life out of me. Feeling as if I need to be that dependable to someone else freaks me out. I know that I might have a twisted idea of what love and relationships are and that is the reason that I am totally okay with my single status.
The reality is while part of me would love to be in a relationship, the truth is I am too selfish with my life right now. The convenience of being able to pick up the phone and almost always having someone to hang with is cool, buuuuut that's not the only reason why you are in a relationship.
My selfishness is that I enjoy my independence. I enjoy my freedom, not really having to think about another person. And that might seem messed up but that's the reality.
The other truth is I'm not surely full I have let go of my stupidity. Being non-committal for so long I don't know what or how to be in a relationship with someone else. Annnnd there is a lot that I have to forgive about and in myself before I put myself out for another person.
Do I believe in love, yes. The greatest example of an unconditional love is Jesus Christ. I have been one who has believed the false love of people close to me and have been working towards understanding what the bible and His example says of me.
Do I have a lot to learn yes?
Am I knocking anyone who is blessed to be in a relationship? No, because the value of having you in my life is that I get to learn what love is by having great examples around me.
To friends and family who constantly tell me I am getting older, my clock is ticking and I need to be on the search.... There are many more priorities I have then making myself a standard of someone's affection.
I trust that when that time comes I will be ready. I trust that when that time comes that what I want for my life, to be a wife and mother will happen. And it will be perfect because He is at the center.
The reality is I'm not in a rush to figure this out. I'm enjoying the journey and honestly I'm enjoying getting to know myself.
If you can't be happy and content in your single life, do you really think adding someone else is going to make it better?
Lessons learned, single and loving it
Okay world, truth- I have not been in that many relationships. Why? Being that vulnerable to someone else scares the life out of me. Feeling as if I need to be that dependable to someone else freaks me out. I know that I might have a twisted idea of what love and relationships are and that is the reason that I am totally okay with my single status.
The reality is while part of me would love to be in a relationship, the truth is I am too selfish with my life right now. The convenience of being able to pick up the phone and almost always having someone to hang with is cool, buuuuut that's not the only reason why you are in a relationship.
My selfishness is that I enjoy my independence. I enjoy my freedom, not really having to think about another person. And that might seem messed up but that's the reality.
The other truth is I'm not surely full I have let go of my stupidity. Being non-committal for so long I don't know what or how to be in a relationship with someone else. Annnnd there is a lot that I have to forgive about and in myself before I put myself out for another person.
Do I believe in love, yes. The greatest example of an unconditional love is Jesus Christ. I have been one who has believed the false love of people close to me and have been working towards understanding what the bible and His example says of me.
Do I have a lot to learn yes?
Am I knocking anyone who is blessed to be in a relationship? No, because the value of having you in my life is that I get to learn what love is by having great examples around me.
To friends and family who constantly tell me I am getting older, my clock is ticking and I need to be on the search.... There are many more priorities I have then making myself a standard of someone's affection.
I trust that when that time comes I will be ready. I trust that when that time comes that what I want for my life, to be a wife and mother will happen. And it will be perfect because He is at the center.
The reality is I'm not in a rush to figure this out. I'm enjoying the journey and honestly I'm enjoying getting to know myself.
If you can't be happy and content in your single life, do you really think adding someone else is going to make it better?
Lessons learned, single and loving it
Saturday, February 8, 2014
There is something about Love..
It's interesting for someone like myself who doesn't really like the word love to use it as much as I have recently. The reality is I don't like the word love, because it gets used too loosely and no one in my opinion uses it with the pride and the care that it should be represented as.
I am always hesitant to use the word, but in my walk with Christ and my genuine love of the Church He has set me in, I have very much enjoyed using the word and blessing people with it. To tell people that you LOVE them, is a gift a blessing and a true honor. My church finds joy when using that word. It is a blessed word, a God word a gift that while I think some people do not cherish, I am finding examples of where that word has value. I am finding examples where that word is true and I am finding examples of where I am getting more and more comfortable to use it.
I am always hesitant to use the word, but in my walk with Christ and my genuine love of the Church He has set me in, I have very much enjoyed using the word and blessing people with it. To tell people that you LOVE them, is a gift a blessing and a true honor. My church finds joy when using that word. It is a blessed word, a God word a gift that while I think some people do not cherish, I am finding examples of where that word has value. I am finding examples where that word is true and I am finding examples of where I am getting more and more comfortable to use it.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Welcoming 2014
Hey Y'all, Happy 2014! Each new year people make resolutions, things they would like to change about themselves from the previous year. I resolve to NEVER make resolutions again.
I don't want to keep looking at the previous year as a mistake and I don't want to look at myself as someone who can be or should be changed constantly. At 28 I am very proud of the woman I have become. I have learned to cherish the "mistakes" I have made in life as brilliant lessons learned and opportunities to learn more about who I am at my core. I have been blessed beyond belief, despite my circumstances and situations to have an amazing family (blood and not) around me. They have prayed, cried, laughed, cheered, encouraged, spoken truth and valued me through every part of my life. I wouldn't give that up for the world. Even when I fall short of the version of myself that I know that I am, I don't beat myself up about it. I take it as a moment to reflect, why did I make a certain choice, what motivated me to do so and a lesson to not make the same choices again.
So here's what I am looking forward to in 2014:
Making more mistakes, cherishing those around me, laughing, crying, praying, getting to know me a little bit more and most importantly Living! This thing called life, it's complicated, it's messy, but it is amazing, beautiful, captivating and it's OURS! You only get to live it once.
Enjoy the next 364 days of the new year, make it count! Make it worth it and make it your best!
I don't want to keep looking at the previous year as a mistake and I don't want to look at myself as someone who can be or should be changed constantly. At 28 I am very proud of the woman I have become. I have learned to cherish the "mistakes" I have made in life as brilliant lessons learned and opportunities to learn more about who I am at my core. I have been blessed beyond belief, despite my circumstances and situations to have an amazing family (blood and not) around me. They have prayed, cried, laughed, cheered, encouraged, spoken truth and valued me through every part of my life. I wouldn't give that up for the world. Even when I fall short of the version of myself that I know that I am, I don't beat myself up about it. I take it as a moment to reflect, why did I make a certain choice, what motivated me to do so and a lesson to not make the same choices again.
So here's what I am looking forward to in 2014:
Making more mistakes, cherishing those around me, laughing, crying, praying, getting to know me a little bit more and most importantly Living! This thing called life, it's complicated, it's messy, but it is amazing, beautiful, captivating and it's OURS! You only get to live it once.
Enjoy the next 364 days of the new year, make it count! Make it worth it and make it your best!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Saying "Thank you" to 2013 and "Hello" 2014
Hey there...
This will be my last post of the 2013 year. I have been seeing a lot of people's posts on Social Media and other places ecstatic to be ringing in the new year. Many have selected a few memories that highlight their 2013, others have basically said good riddance and see you later to the year, counting down the last hours where they get to reclaim a part of their lives.
I guess I used to be one of those people. Looking forward to the new year to start over. But the reality is we don't start over we just continue the next chapter of our lives. We aren't necessarily reinventing ourselves, we are simply building upon and hopefully learning from the lessons of the past.
As I close out this year I am captivated by Psalm 50:7-15 "Make Thankfulness your sacrifice to God." As I look back on the year, there are a lot of things that didn't go as I had planned, but the reality is they went as HE had! He works all things (good and bad, whether I willed it or not) for MY good. That is one amazing thing to stand on. And for that I am Thankful. I am Thankful for another day, another year where I get to draw close to Him. To be a better example of His love for the world. Because at the end of this life, it's not about how many times we reinvent ourselves, it's really about how did we honor the blessing He gave us.
I am thankful for each and every ugly, beautiful, sad, emotional, invigorating, vibrant, playful, energetic moment I have gotten to breathe these last 365 days and these last 28 years.
I am looking forward to the mistakes I make, to the lessons I learn, to the joys of being simply human, imperfect, but most of all BLESSED!
Happy Last Day of 2013!!!
See you in the New Year!!
This will be my last post of the 2013 year. I have been seeing a lot of people's posts on Social Media and other places ecstatic to be ringing in the new year. Many have selected a few memories that highlight their 2013, others have basically said good riddance and see you later to the year, counting down the last hours where they get to reclaim a part of their lives.
I guess I used to be one of those people. Looking forward to the new year to start over. But the reality is we don't start over we just continue the next chapter of our lives. We aren't necessarily reinventing ourselves, we are simply building upon and hopefully learning from the lessons of the past.
As I close out this year I am captivated by Psalm 50:7-15 "Make Thankfulness your sacrifice to God." As I look back on the year, there are a lot of things that didn't go as I had planned, but the reality is they went as HE had! He works all things (good and bad, whether I willed it or not) for MY good. That is one amazing thing to stand on. And for that I am Thankful. I am Thankful for another day, another year where I get to draw close to Him. To be a better example of His love for the world. Because at the end of this life, it's not about how many times we reinvent ourselves, it's really about how did we honor the blessing He gave us.
I am thankful for each and every ugly, beautiful, sad, emotional, invigorating, vibrant, playful, energetic moment I have gotten to breathe these last 365 days and these last 28 years.
I am looking forward to the mistakes I make, to the lessons I learn, to the joys of being simply human, imperfect, but most of all BLESSED!
Happy Last Day of 2013!!!
See you in the New Year!!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Open Letter to Chris Brown
Hey Y'all:
A while back I had written an open letter to Chris Brown's fans (Team Breezy), the short version if you don't take a look at the link was that I was appalled with how a generation of people were making the most outrageous behavior when it came to supporting Chris Brown. These individuals called people out, were disgusting on all elements of social media and made me sad to be in the same category as them- a fan. Why, because Chris Brown has faced a lot of media scrutiny regarding his torrid past and is appalling behavior. Let me clarify my fandom for you. I like Chris Brown the artist. I think he is one of the most talented artists we have in the music industry. I think on some levels he could even be considered a musical genius. However, Chris Brown the person has a lot of growing up to do- and really no judgement because we all have an element of growing up to do. But my thing is, you can't keep making the same mistakes and expect your fans to ride for you through it all.
Recently Chris Brown got into a fight (again) in DC. We know he has anger management issues (Rihanna, Drake, Frank Ocean...). In this recent case, Chris was allowed to go to rehab to deal with his anger management issues instead of going to jail for assault. Personally, send his butt to jail. I think that there comes a time that you need to be scared straight. He didn't really have jail time for the Rihanna situation and that was his blessing. He should have taken that as his moment of reconciliation and realized that he had a great opportunity to change. And for a while he did, or at least he tried. Well, Chris is in rehab- dealing with anger management. I still think he should have gone to jail and been sentenced to a court ordered therapist, but who am I. Regardless, his latest stint in the public eye has gotten me so frustrated.
It is really hard defending him as an artist when as a person he is just so ugh!
So today Russell Simmons posted this lovely gem
A while back I had written an open letter to Chris Brown's fans (Team Breezy), the short version if you don't take a look at the link was that I was appalled with how a generation of people were making the most outrageous behavior when it came to supporting Chris Brown. These individuals called people out, were disgusting on all elements of social media and made me sad to be in the same category as them- a fan. Why, because Chris Brown has faced a lot of media scrutiny regarding his torrid past and is appalling behavior. Let me clarify my fandom for you. I like Chris Brown the artist. I think he is one of the most talented artists we have in the music industry. I think on some levels he could even be considered a musical genius. However, Chris Brown the person has a lot of growing up to do- and really no judgement because we all have an element of growing up to do. But my thing is, you can't keep making the same mistakes and expect your fans to ride for you through it all.
Recently Chris Brown got into a fight (again) in DC. We know he has anger management issues (Rihanna, Drake, Frank Ocean...). In this recent case, Chris was allowed to go to rehab to deal with his anger management issues instead of going to jail for assault. Personally, send his butt to jail. I think that there comes a time that you need to be scared straight. He didn't really have jail time for the Rihanna situation and that was his blessing. He should have taken that as his moment of reconciliation and realized that he had a great opportunity to change. And for a while he did, or at least he tried. Well, Chris is in rehab- dealing with anger management. I still think he should have gone to jail and been sentenced to a court ordered therapist, but who am I. Regardless, his latest stint in the public eye has gotten me so frustrated.
It is really hard defending him as an artist when as a person he is just so ugh!
So today Russell Simmons posted this lovely gem
and now I am outraged! Why does Chris Brown get to "take the day off from rehab?" Um, yes I get that he is doing a good dead, but you don't get to take the day off from fixing your life. I don't know what is troubling you dude, but I pray that you get it together. Hearing your music on the radio infuriates me, seeing posts like this make me so angry. I want to be able to give you a million and one chances, but the three I have allowed myself to give you have returned with me being bankrupt.
So to whomever is out in his sphere of influence, please support him like you haven't before. Pray for him, build him up and really pray that whatever has a stronghold gets removed.
To Chris, I need you to not think about your fans, or the fame or whatever motivates you to be an artist. Because right now the image you put out, who you are and the legacy of your life are more important. At the end of your life what do you want to be remembered by? Because right now it's chalking up to be that you are just a class a JERK!
Love a fan who cares enough to actually tell you the truth about yourself!
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