Life goes on....

Hey Y'all:
  As some of you might have read from my last post, I have been dealing with a huge issue in my family. What I thought was reality ended up turning not to be. As children we hold people in our lives to a high esteem. We look up to these individuals and have this feeling and hope that no matter what they will not hurt us, ESPECIALLY if they are our family. It's not that you mean to put them on a pedestal, it's just that you happen to. Out of a deep appreciation, love and fondness of them.
   However, there are moments when that admiration gets crushed. You hope not too much, but when your world and the lens in which you look at others gets cracked, you become a little less innocent in your views of the world.
   I didn't ask to be put on this earth, but I am here. And what I have learned over the last 27 years is I get to choose my happiness. No one can take that away from me. I get to choose what I want to hold on to, and how much I allow what others have done in my life to break me.

 Yes, my life is painful, no I cannot forget it----but I can choose to forgive it and move on. Life goes on! It has to! It doesn't stop because someone caused me pain. And if I allow myself to stop, then what do I do? There is a bigger world out there than the one that includes Nakeesha Jeanne Ceran. He has purposed me for more than the pain that I have been dealing with. No matter how much I have been inflicted by the pain around me, I have to remember that the world around me suffers more deeply than I do. I have God and His victory and favor over my life and that goes a LONG way.
  Will I continue to hurt, probably. But How long I allow myself to sit in that hurt is my choice. I owe myself and my future a little bit more than the depression I have been in. He has brought me out of a lot of trials and kept me safe.

    I currently am in one of the happiest times of my life. My life is going pretty well! I have a job, I graduated from college-- I have thus far accomplished all that I have wanted in my life. Yes the world has thrown some SHADE at me! But I am still standing, still blessed with another day to live. I will choose my happiness, the memories that I want to hold on to and I will choose what feelings and emotions that I allow others to make me feel.
   This life we have is ours and it continues to move forward even when we don't want to feel it. So why let it pass us by and not just live happy?