Not seeking perfection, just seeking HIM

Hey y'all:
 It's interesting that when my world is going "right" I don't find as much time to check-in and actually write. But when my world and my emotions are on the fritz, that's when you tend to see and hear the most of me.
What I find so interesting about that, is that it almost parallel's my relationship with God. I tend to only seek Him, when the world is crashing in on me. But I don't spend nearly enough time praising Him and thanking Him for what He has helped me triumph in and succeed in.

 This last week, I went from my highest up in a while, to a low. Definitely not my lowest low, because this is only a season and will pass, and because I have been hurt more deeply in my life prior to this experience and I AM STILL STANDING here today- why because of God's Grace and His ability to redeem all things.
But I went from being Baptized  feeling full and feeling so energized to take on the world, and now I walk a little less energized. I have come into some friction with two friendships and that has always been a tough thing for me to deal with in general. Friends for me ARE my family. They are where I invest my time and energy. A big reason, if you have not read my previous blogs, is because I have had a tumultuous relationship with my own flesh and blood. But when you get to build your family, by choosing those to be in your life, there is power and something more refreshing in that. But when those members that you choose to spend time with and build loyalty for, cause you pain in some way, it hurts--- a little deeper than when a family member bruises you.

While, I am not as thick skinned and able to hide my emotions as I want to, I do know this. I am not perfect. I am not seeking perfection. I am simply walking out this life with the focus of what He has set on my heart. It  means for me that I, step out in Faith hoping that I am reflecting His best image and not my own. When I fall short, I hope that the people in my life do not judge me, hold it against me or continue to exploit those short comings.

 Losing friendships definitely takes a toll on me. And I realize that I keep coming back to this phrase that says " People are in your life for a reason and a season.." Sometimes God closes that door and it's not meant to be open (Jimmy and Anika).  But at the end of the day, there is one person that I can call my constant friend- God. He has always been there! He will always be here! Calling out to me and building me up in those moments when I feel defeated.
  There used to be a point in my life where I would get angry at those who I felt disappointed me or pushed me away. Instead, though I have learned to pray. He can REDEEM! and that is what I stand in right now.

So while I might not be a perfect reflection of what others in my life would like- I am a perfect reflection in what He wants. He wants me to seek Him.

Lord, I leave it to you.. For it is you alone who can transform and restore that which has been broken.