Ladies, Ladies, Ladies... We have got to be bigger than the drama!

So I think by now y'all know that I LOVE my reality TV. I mean I LOVE my reality TV. I can sit and watch " Keeping up with the Kardashian's," "The Real Housewives" of whatever, "Basketball Wives," and now my new guilty pleasure is "Love & Hip Hop." What is frustrating about watching these shows, is 1- watching the women changing once they get behind the camera for a while and 2- the image that these women are portraying. Aside from a few of the shows, the majority of the shows I watch are about minority women. Already we have a curve we have to overcome. We are women, we are minorities AND with that means these preconceived notions of what we are supposed to be like.

   When creating her concept- "Basketball Wives," Shaunie O'Neal said that she wanted a show that would be empowering for women, highlighting what the women she showcased were doing outside of the lives of being an athlete's woman. These women were business savvy, were supposed to be uplifting and somewhat role models for a generation that is tapped out of these positive role models. Some of the vision that she wanted got away from the reality of pop culture. Positivity doesn't sell unfortunately and reality or not, these women want to be on top, so the images we get are strong women, crying over love (not to say that is weak, but when we talk about empowering.. eh), we get women talking down to other women, we get women calling this or that out their names. We have women degrading women more than the guys do and it's frustrating because while it can be entertainment at times, it is so disrespectful and something that as a woman, we hope never happens to us. And that's where the truth lies, what we see on TV is something that we hope doesn't really happen to us, but we keep feeding the same crap because we are watching it all the time.
  Why is it okay for women, Black women and Hispanic women to act the way they do on these shows. Why is there always a fight, one girl saying something about a lack of loyalty, and half the time these women don't even understand loyalty themselves, but they want everyone else to be down for them. Some of the things these women go through is a lesson- their ups and downs with love. How they handle it, them getting through the stress of not knowing what will happen. In the case of " Love & Hip Hop,"  you have a woman like Emily, in love with a guy who is not ready to commit, who won't acknowledge her as his the woman in his life, yet they are "playing" house. You got Chrissy (who despite some of her shortcomings- I'll acknowledge that she goes to blows too quickly) and Jim who have been together for a minute, she says she loves him and wants the next step from him but until recently he hadn't been there yet. It's frustrating because these women can be great examples of the strong women, role models that are missing, doing their own thing. Emily with her fashion line, the other women trying to get their music thing up. But yet they perpetuate these ideals, that they need a man, and that it's them against the world. Sometimes we get moments of these women lifting each other up. The way Chrissy goes hard for Olivia's music ambition. She's always the one singing in the front row, or at a table, so enthusiastic about Olivia's dream. That is powerful, that is the image that we (Black women and minorities) should have promoted. One of true sisterhood, that despite the situations we find ourselves in, we are capable of lifting each other up.
  Watching these shows is frustrating, because one it promotes a negative image of the women. I was talking to my boss about these shows and he was saying " What do men think about these women?" Ultimately, these images are what the world sees- "the angry Black woman", " the ghetto woman,"  women who are loud, always fighting and just not supportive. This is not how we are, so the question is where are our positive images?
  And if these examples are all we have, why can't we show the good things that they are doing. Why do we allow society to continue to present the image of us that we do not associate with?