That's how I feel currently. I was told in a way that shouldn't necessarily hurt my feelings- that I lacked vision. This conversation came at a time when I was discussing with my family what my next steps were after graduation. Something that I have given a lot of thought to. To a degree I get that I lack vision in what the next steps are going to be- most people are focused on that next big position and me I'm focused more on what I will get out of the experience. I want my next position to elevate me and continue me on the path of becoming a director of a foundation or non-profit, or is it that I want the next position to provide me with the knowledge to navigate the world of political policy? Or is it that I want the next position to be fun, to continue to push my creativity in Social Media etc. Maybe that person was right, maybe I do lack vision.
I just know that I have never had this broad goal of what I wanted to be at the end of the day. My goal was always to use whatever platform I was granted an opportunity to make a difference in the world. I want to be a social entrepreneur that connects the dots for big organizations and bridges the gap for other networks to provide real-time solutions for people in need. But what does that mean?
Clearly I have some work to do and little time to do it in. I have a lot of soul searching to accomplish. The next few months are going to be spending a few hours a day studying for comps and figuring out my future. Can I do it? Yes of course I can, will it be easy... Heck no!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Goals
Hey y'all,
I have been thinking a lot about changes that will be happening in the next few years, graduating, getting a new job etc. And now I have thought heavily about some goals I want to make for my future and just somethings I want to accomplish, so I wanted to share them with you in no particular order or need:
I have been thinking a lot about changes that will be happening in the next few years, graduating, getting a new job etc. And now I have thought heavily about some goals I want to make for my future and just somethings I want to accomplish, so I wanted to share them with you in no particular order or need:
- Married and start a family
- Graduate with my Master's
- Attain my first job
- Change the world
- Buy a car
- Buy a house
- Visit all 13 Presidential Libraries ( I think it would be a great opportunity to learn history and to understand the role that presidents, and these particular presidents played in American History. I guess I will start with the Richard Nixon Library in College Park, MD since that is the closest one to me, but I think it would be a great set of road trips.)
- Travel- I want to go to Europe, just to see the different ways cultures work and not just have an idea from the books I read or the news reports but to see for myself.
- Visit EVERY pro-football stadium in the country
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Entering into a new Season
Hey y'all:
Last blog post I discussed my relationship with a new church I am attending. When I tell you how changed I am--- oooo we! God has been so good to me and through this week I have seen Him working in my life in such a powerful way. That even though I am currently sick I am in such a great mood, being so faithful and guided and protected. I have been in and around the church practically all of my life. I have found my way back to the church despite my own shortcomings and this is the first time that I have fully submitted to His glory. And it is AWESOME! I mean AWESOME!! I am so blessed and am learning how to be more like Him. I pray every day to be placed more in His character. I pray that I can continue to build the relationship I have with Him and that He continues to guide me through my situations.
I believe that I have found my church home. A place where I am strengthened, a place where I am EAGER to get back. Finding ways to be more involved just so that I can be wrapped in His glory.
Thank you Jesus!
Okay, love y'all have a blessed day!
Last blog post I discussed my relationship with a new church I am attending. When I tell you how changed I am--- oooo we! God has been so good to me and through this week I have seen Him working in my life in such a powerful way. That even though I am currently sick I am in such a great mood, being so faithful and guided and protected. I have been in and around the church practically all of my life. I have found my way back to the church despite my own shortcomings and this is the first time that I have fully submitted to His glory. And it is AWESOME! I mean AWESOME!! I am so blessed and am learning how to be more like Him. I pray every day to be placed more in His character. I pray that I can continue to build the relationship I have with Him and that He continues to guide me through my situations.
I believe that I have found my church home. A place where I am strengthened, a place where I am EAGER to get back. Finding ways to be more involved just so that I can be wrapped in His glory.
Thank you Jesus!
Okay, love y'all have a blessed day!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
So blessed...
Hey Ya'll -
This evening I went to church for this mass they do for young professionals and college students. It's called The Movement, it's shorter than Sunday mass, but it was such a blessing to be able to praise and worship all the great things that God has done for me and will continue to do for me. For the Word we looked at Judges 16: 18-28, we talked about Samson and Delilah and the fact that Samson was supposed to be a deliverer and that we in our anointing are also supposed to deliver others into God's love. It is so fulfilling to think about this part because I look at my life and what I want to do with it, be a person who serves others, makes a difference in the world around me and part of that making a difference is showing people around me God's love. As I type this, I am feeling overwhelmed by His grace and so thankful for all that He does for me and through me. But it so wonderful to see the vision the Lord has for me and to know that in many ways i am on the right path.
There were two points that Pastor Tom mentioned for us to remember- the first is to Be Careful where we sleep- or where we rest. Do not settle for the things that are less than what He has for us.
The second point to remember is -be careful of with your heart- guard your heart basically. Do not let other people into your whole life partially because when your heart gets broken they aren't there to help you and the reason that your heart gets broken is because it wasn't careful guarded.
Oh I am just so blessed to have been able to hear that word. It has set me up in such the right path right now. So I am so excited!
Thank you Lord for guiding me to The City Church and thank you very much for guiding me through to The Movement.
That's all she wrote folks, Stay blessed!
This evening I went to church for this mass they do for young professionals and college students. It's called The Movement, it's shorter than Sunday mass, but it was such a blessing to be able to praise and worship all the great things that God has done for me and will continue to do for me. For the Word we looked at Judges 16: 18-28, we talked about Samson and Delilah and the fact that Samson was supposed to be a deliverer and that we in our anointing are also supposed to deliver others into God's love. It is so fulfilling to think about this part because I look at my life and what I want to do with it, be a person who serves others, makes a difference in the world around me and part of that making a difference is showing people around me God's love. As I type this, I am feeling overwhelmed by His grace and so thankful for all that He does for me and through me. But it so wonderful to see the vision the Lord has for me and to know that in many ways i am on the right path.
There were two points that Pastor Tom mentioned for us to remember- the first is to Be Careful where we sleep- or where we rest. Do not settle for the things that are less than what He has for us.
The second point to remember is -be careful of with your heart- guard your heart basically. Do not let other people into your whole life partially because when your heart gets broken they aren't there to help you and the reason that your heart gets broken is because it wasn't careful guarded.
Oh I am just so blessed to have been able to hear that word. It has set me up in such the right path right now. So I am so excited!
Thank you Lord for guiding me to The City Church and thank you very much for guiding me through to The Movement.
That's all she wrote folks, Stay blessed!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 years later and it's still a day never to be forgotten
It's the 10 year Anniversary of the 9/11 Terrorist Attacks. There are some moments in our lives that completely shape the rest of your life and how you see the world. There are also moments like these that you will never forget. 9/11 is one of those moments. I was on my way to school, it was sophomore year, every year we go to the middle of the woods and participate in a Ropes Course- my mom was driving me to school early. I had asked her to stop at Safeway so I could pick up candy for my friends for lunch. We got back in the car and turned on the radio, listening to KMEL- what we heard on the radio sounded like a movie advertisement. the DJs were saying something about the first tower getting hit. I really thought it was a movie, and then a commercial break happened- My mother and I looked at each other and were in shock. It wasn't until I got to school and the principal strated to pull those of us aside who they knew had family in NY before I realized what had happened. But without seeing it on TV it still didn't make much sense.
It wasn't until school ended and I was able to go home that I realized what had happened. Threats had been made on San Francisco, so there was a Bay Area wide curfew.
Sitting in front of CNN, I was finally able to see the images that had been splashed all over the news all day long. It was such a tragic scene, I didn't know if my family was alright, remember at this time I wasn't in contact with my dad's side of the family. But while I knew that my world could be rocked, I wasn't just worried about my family, but I was worried about the world, my country and all of the others who knew instntly that their loved ones weren't coming back. It was also really telling and frustrating how quickly blame spread.
It was disheartning for me over the next few days after 9/11 how qucikly violence spread against people of Middle Eastern descent, it seemed like every day more and more people were inciting violence against the people they blamed for the deaths of thousands.
10 years ago I was 15 years old. 9/11 for me, like many others has forever shaped how I see the world. For a person who lived 15 years without this fear of war, since 9/11 war is all I have really known. Tracking the number of deaths over seas, seeing friends enlist and go abroad; and waiting for the next "big" attack on the U.S. There is a new normal in this country and in this world today, all because of the events of 9/11. For my niece, I don't think she'll really be able to grasp what 9/11 meant for all of us. For my god daughter, she will only know that there is a hieghtened sense of state, that men and women died for our right to live, for our right to "fight back." No matter where we stand in the world, 9/11 will always be a day that is marked with a somber attitude. These images will live on and hopefully the lessons of such a tragic day will force us to continue to grow into better people each time.
I don't know if I see the world in a better light because of what happened, but I do know that it is something that is not a distant memory, but something that for me is lived almost every moment of my life. I think that is what unifies us on 9/11, there are many families who lost loved ones, who will never get those minutes back, but for all of us, we all lost a piece of what was "normal" for us.
So to all those who lost their lives, and who continue to put their lives on the line for us all each day- Thank you! 9/11 is a day we will never forget, but a day that will remind us to live each moment as the best examples of ourselves. It's not just God Bless America, but really God Bless the world!
It wasn't until school ended and I was able to go home that I realized what had happened. Threats had been made on San Francisco, so there was a Bay Area wide curfew.
Sitting in front of CNN, I was finally able to see the images that had been splashed all over the news all day long. It was such a tragic scene, I didn't know if my family was alright, remember at this time I wasn't in contact with my dad's side of the family. But while I knew that my world could be rocked, I wasn't just worried about my family, but I was worried about the world, my country and all of the others who knew instntly that their loved ones weren't coming back. It was also really telling and frustrating how quickly blame spread.
It was disheartning for me over the next few days after 9/11 how qucikly violence spread against people of Middle Eastern descent, it seemed like every day more and more people were inciting violence against the people they blamed for the deaths of thousands.
10 years ago I was 15 years old. 9/11 for me, like many others has forever shaped how I see the world. For a person who lived 15 years without this fear of war, since 9/11 war is all I have really known. Tracking the number of deaths over seas, seeing friends enlist and go abroad; and waiting for the next "big" attack on the U.S. There is a new normal in this country and in this world today, all because of the events of 9/11. For my niece, I don't think she'll really be able to grasp what 9/11 meant for all of us. For my god daughter, she will only know that there is a hieghtened sense of state, that men and women died for our right to live, for our right to "fight back." No matter where we stand in the world, 9/11 will always be a day that is marked with a somber attitude. These images will live on and hopefully the lessons of such a tragic day will force us to continue to grow into better people each time.
I don't know if I see the world in a better light because of what happened, but I do know that it is something that is not a distant memory, but something that for me is lived almost every moment of my life. I think that is what unifies us on 9/11, there are many families who lost loved ones, who will never get those minutes back, but for all of us, we all lost a piece of what was "normal" for us.
So to all those who lost their lives, and who continue to put their lives on the line for us all each day- Thank you! 9/11 is a day we will never forget, but a day that will remind us to live each moment as the best examples of ourselves. It's not just God Bless America, but really God Bless the world!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Black Love: Why we cherish loves like Will & Jada's
Hey ya'll, so I have a tendency to make comments about love, OFTEN! Mainly because I will admit that as much as relationships and I do not get along, I am a hopeless romantic at heart and I do eventually want love to be gifted to me. I know I would be good in love and when that day comes I think whoever my partner is would be good in love too.
Well this post is about love, but more about the risks we take when we love, and I think deeper than that it is about the fear that we have about love. And by we, I mean Black people. When we think of the Black Family, it's not the traditional white picket fence, two people in love that society will have us to believe. The majority of our young brothers are locked up, dead or just no where to be found. So when we see a strong couple like Will & Jada or Barack & Michelle, we have hope in what our lives can be like. Recently a rumor took to the media waves about Will & Jada splitting up. It caused an uproar in many media outlets, and caused a lot of people to comment on it. Including Will's son Trey. Some people were getting annoyed with all of the news surrounding the couple, so I wanted to share a little bit of the perspective of why it was such an important piece of our community.
Black love has been something very different then the norm, I guess- for lack of a better word. We are one community, when pain is felt by one of us, we all feel it, when success is gained by one of us, we all live it. So when a rumor tries to fracture the joy that we all feel when we look at a couple like Will & Jada- who teach us how to love, how to be loved and how to raise a strong Black family in love, it makes us all get a little worried that our hope will be dashed. We put our support into those magical couples that teach us lessons in love everyday, because we want to preserve that hope. When this hope is being tainted, it makes us fear that our chances at that magic are going to be diminished.
So when rumors start to spill out that Will & Jada are on the rocks, the community goes crazy, because for us, that means we run the risk of losing the dream as well. I don't know if I would have gotten into the uproar, but I do know that it is something that got me to take a closer look, wanting to check the headlines to see if these rumors were confirmed.
But now, all I am going to do is pray, pray for the dream that I have that I will have a magical love like that, and that my Black love will be something that the community wants to preserve and cherish and make their own.
Well this post is about love, but more about the risks we take when we love, and I think deeper than that it is about the fear that we have about love. And by we, I mean Black people. When we think of the Black Family, it's not the traditional white picket fence, two people in love that society will have us to believe. The majority of our young brothers are locked up, dead or just no where to be found. So when we see a strong couple like Will & Jada or Barack & Michelle, we have hope in what our lives can be like. Recently a rumor took to the media waves about Will & Jada splitting up. It caused an uproar in many media outlets, and caused a lot of people to comment on it. Including Will's son Trey. Some people were getting annoyed with all of the news surrounding the couple, so I wanted to share a little bit of the perspective of why it was such an important piece of our community.
Black love has been something very different then the norm, I guess- for lack of a better word. We are one community, when pain is felt by one of us, we all feel it, when success is gained by one of us, we all live it. So when a rumor tries to fracture the joy that we all feel when we look at a couple like Will & Jada- who teach us how to love, how to be loved and how to raise a strong Black family in love, it makes us all get a little worried that our hope will be dashed. We put our support into those magical couples that teach us lessons in love everyday, because we want to preserve that hope. When this hope is being tainted, it makes us fear that our chances at that magic are going to be diminished.
So when rumors start to spill out that Will & Jada are on the rocks, the community goes crazy, because for us, that means we run the risk of losing the dream as well. I don't know if I would have gotten into the uproar, but I do know that it is something that got me to take a closer look, wanting to check the headlines to see if these rumors were confirmed.
But now, all I am going to do is pray, pray for the dream that I have that I will have a magical love like that, and that my Black love will be something that the community wants to preserve and cherish and make their own.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Hey ya'll sorry it has been so long
It's been hard trying to find the words to write to make sense of this crazy world we live in, to make sense of the life we live and the moments we share with others and by ourselves. Well where do I start. I fell in love, got my heart broken and now I'm putting back the pieces of my life. Can you really fall in love with a person who doesn't know it, and if they don't know it, can they really break your heart?
I turned 26! And in the last year I have been able to gather so much strength and courage to take my life back from situations I didn't think I would be able to. I fought back from the pained story of my past- a childhood abduction. I fought back from the broken marriage of my parents, the deaths of loved ones. My life is finally mine to claim, something that I get proud of more and more everyday. I love that I get to wake up in the morning with quite possibly the coolest person in the world- me! It took me a while to stand on my own, moving across the country from one of the only places I can truly call home. To starting school and doing this whole thing by myself, to helping to guide my family and friends through my love and through my life. I pushed through an earthquake which I owe so much for helping me to find my way back to a more solid me. I am thankful for meeting Rachel Nielsen, an amazing woman and friend who helped to guide me through my pain and find a strength that I knew was there, but didn't know was mine.
So here I am 26 and so happy to be alive. Here is to another 26 years of happiness and joy, and here is to at least another year of you all reading my notes to myself and getting a glimpse into my life. Lucas Scott on One Tree Hill once said- "Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives... for better or worse!" To be honest, I hope that my one life can really make an impact on the world... I don't do the things I do, or make the choices I make to better myself, I do them because I want the life I lead to make a difference for the young person who reads this blog, who has a story like mine and thinks they don't have the strength to continue to grow up. People, particularly my mother question my need to put my life out there for the world to see. But I stand true to this belief that my life's story is worth telling, that the mess that I have gone through, that the strength I have been able to find in the last few years has brought me to this place, not so that I could be timid, but so that I could actually make a difference for someone else. We only have this one life, at the end of it all I want people to look back on mine and be proud of the way I lived it. And to be better people because of it.
With love! Keesha
#PGS
I turned 26! And in the last year I have been able to gather so much strength and courage to take my life back from situations I didn't think I would be able to. I fought back from the pained story of my past- a childhood abduction. I fought back from the broken marriage of my parents, the deaths of loved ones. My life is finally mine to claim, something that I get proud of more and more everyday. I love that I get to wake up in the morning with quite possibly the coolest person in the world- me! It took me a while to stand on my own, moving across the country from one of the only places I can truly call home. To starting school and doing this whole thing by myself, to helping to guide my family and friends through my love and through my life. I pushed through an earthquake which I owe so much for helping me to find my way back to a more solid me. I am thankful for meeting Rachel Nielsen, an amazing woman and friend who helped to guide me through my pain and find a strength that I knew was there, but didn't know was mine.
So here I am 26 and so happy to be alive. Here is to another 26 years of happiness and joy, and here is to at least another year of you all reading my notes to myself and getting a glimpse into my life. Lucas Scott on One Tree Hill once said- "Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives... for better or worse!" To be honest, I hope that my one life can really make an impact on the world... I don't do the things I do, or make the choices I make to better myself, I do them because I want the life I lead to make a difference for the young person who reads this blog, who has a story like mine and thinks they don't have the strength to continue to grow up. People, particularly my mother question my need to put my life out there for the world to see. But I stand true to this belief that my life's story is worth telling, that the mess that I have gone through, that the strength I have been able to find in the last few years has brought me to this place, not so that I could be timid, but so that I could actually make a difference for someone else. We only have this one life, at the end of it all I want people to look back on mine and be proud of the way I lived it. And to be better people because of it.
With love! Keesha
#PGS
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