Hey y'all sooo where do I begin. Let's start with this, I recently decided that I was thinking/ready to start dating. I made this announcement via my Facebook page and found that quite a few of my friends and family were in agreement that it was time.
So where to start- why wasn't I dating? Let's see, a series of relationship, but nots in HS. A 2 year half relationship in my first few years of college, sprinkled with this intense intimate friendship with another person that was off and on for a little over 3 years. And then there was Ricky, my last BF. 2 years, and not really sure what happened there. But knew I tried and it just didn't work out.
But here is my history- friends. Easy right, you know them, they know you- hopefully, flaws and all and you can have fun because you are talking to your friend, but you have the added benefit of them being in a relationship with you, which in some cases can be an added perk. You don't go into relationships with the mindset that they are going to fail, you go into them with the mindset that they are going to go well. When they fail, you are sort of left with this miserable pain that in some way- YOU Failed.
Hmm... That's interesting. Needless to say, 2 years after Ricky and I started we ended. I attempted to make that intimate friendship into a relationship only to be a little too late and finally decided that Keesha needed to focus on school and building herself up before she started putting herself in a relationship. I graduated with honors from my Undergrad. Started my Master's program and graduated recently in May.
The plan had been finish school, get me caught up to where I wanted to be, or at least on the path towards where I wanted to be. And then focus on building the fam. The other part of it was this, I needed to figure out not just who I was as me, but who I was in Christ. So I started my journey back to Grace and in his countenance to build myself up. I didn't want any relationship I jumped in to be made up of the same mistakes of the past. I mean, let's be real. Yeah I have love and appreciation for the men who graced my life, but there is still a part of me who wishes, that I hadn't made some of the choices that I did with those relationships. Some part of me wishes I could collect those little fragments of my heart that I let slip away so that there would be a whole me here when the time came to actually give my heart to the person who deserved it the most.
Well, I've been on that path to restoration and rebuilding. And now I think it's time for me to at least test the waters, but I am setting some new rules, which probably goes against the point given that I am wanting to date, but here they are:
Rule 1- no more friends. I get it there is comfort in the friend category, but in my history there is also discomfort and weirdness and trying to rebuild that well, NO THANK YOU. When I think of my future, he will become my BEST FRIEND. Together we will learn about each other, build each other into our lives
Rule 2- I have to be willing... Truth be told I hid behind my education as a reason why I wasn't trying to get into a relationship. I had homework or something to do on campus so that meant- I didn't have to go out meet new people or put myself out there. Anytime I went out it was the same place, with the same people, not really opening my options up if my only circles already know me right?!
Rule 3- PRAY! Whatever this next thing is that I open my life to has to be of God. Plain and simple
Yup, so those right now are my three rules. More for me than for the guy(s) coming into my life. As it should be, because really our lists, as women, limit us, NOT them.
Until next time...
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Dating... 1,2,3..
So a while back I wrote about a Promised Love .. I love, love. LOL. I mean I think a lot of people love love, or we wouldn't want it or fall into it. Our hearts are fragile and we tend to spend too much time giving it away and causing it too much pain.
I have been in fleeting movements of love, but love is of God. He fashioned us to love, to show people love and honor. We were made in His image to care for others and a gift that He gave to us, is to love others.
I know that I have been setting myself in Him and being focused on Him. I don't expect that this means that I am going to find that next or perfect person, but it does mean that I am open to it. I do have a lot to learn and a lot to grow in, but the truth is I am ready.
I am ready for my happy and I am ready to at least have a little fun and live a little. I recently made the announcement on FB and it was well received. I can't help but feeling very vulnerable though. I mean it has been a while since I have dated AND I am also thinking about the fact that I am changing my patterns from before- no friends.. Not that I don't think there has been value in that, I just can't do that, not again. Instead I want the person that I spend the rest of my life with to be the person that becomes my best friend.
So here goes nothing.. And here is to more writing!
I have been in fleeting movements of love, but love is of God. He fashioned us to love, to show people love and honor. We were made in His image to care for others and a gift that He gave to us, is to love others.
I know that I have been setting myself in Him and being focused on Him. I don't expect that this means that I am going to find that next or perfect person, but it does mean that I am open to it. I do have a lot to learn and a lot to grow in, but the truth is I am ready.
I am ready for my happy and I am ready to at least have a little fun and live a little. I recently made the announcement on FB and it was well received. I can't help but feeling very vulnerable though. I mean it has been a while since I have dated AND I am also thinking about the fact that I am changing my patterns from before- no friends.. Not that I don't think there has been value in that, I just can't do that, not again. Instead I want the person that I spend the rest of my life with to be the person that becomes my best friend.
So here goes nothing.. And here is to more writing!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
"Take your Place" Dream bigger
These lines below came from Madea's Family Reunion. Actress Cicely Tyson spoke them to her family, but I think these words apply very much to the young generation of Black men and women today, that I thought it appropriate to bring it up again:
What happened to us? Who are you? Do you know who you are? What happened to the pride and the dignity and the love and respect that we had for one another. Where did it go. And how, How do we get it back? I'ma tell you.
Young Black men, take your place. We need you. Your sons and daughters need you. Did you understand what I just said. You were sold off and had no choice, yes but now it's time to stay. Take your place. Now. Starting now. Starting now.
Young black women, you are more than your thighs and your hips. You are beautiful, strong, powerful. I want more from you. Take your place.
____________________________________
We are a strong generation with much history and growth. But there are times that we sell ourselves short as a community and as mentors. We have a history that is vibrant and while we are still trying to define ourselves in a world that keeps changing, we owe it to ourselves to be the best examples of that history and legacy. We have an opportunity to do better than the versions of ourselves that others have labeled us. I think some times out of fear of being better and bigger we find ourselves living up to the stereotypes that others set against us. These words remind me of the power we have to do more, to be better and to keep living better versions of ourselves, versions that we DREAM for ourselves. I think the most that I am trying to say-- be bigger, be better and dream for more in your life.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Forgiveness: Sometimes easier said then done...
....But with God you are able to accomplish so much. Over the last few years since I started this blog, I have talked greatly about the broken relationship with my mother. I have said multiple times that " I am over it." There was pain there, and it was hard to forget it, but easy to forgive it. But there was still much pain that I was holding on to. Those things that happened affected so much in my life- family, love, friendships etc. They were all connected, so truly forgiving meant really letting go of it ALL.
Today at church, we were blessed to have Mike Rovner come and speak about the amazing things God has done for his life, but also just passing on his wisdom from the things he has gone through. Mike's message was on Willingness, Obedience, and most of all Forgiveness.
On forgiveness, Mike reminds us - "It's not a feeling, it's an act of your will." Just as much as we walk in Victory as Christians, we have to walk in forgiveness each time. I have to actively seek a habit of forgiveness. There are people that have hurt me in my life--- deeply. It is tough, to say I forgive but not actively walk in that.
Pastor Michael following Mike's message gave us time to lay it on Him. He says cast your cares upon me. He will take care of it. Today was the first time I finally said that I'm sorry. Why? Because I finally am able to let it go. Not forgiving hurts me more than it hurts the people who have pained me. But forgiving me puts a freedom on my heart. It makes the weight that I am feeling go. After that moment with God, I found it hard to figure out what had hurt me. It was as if He erased it all. The anger, the feelings that would come back when I thought about those moments, have been replaced with PEACE. I feel nothing, except for FREEDOM!
GOD IS FAITHFUL! He has abundant blessings to cast upon us all we have to do is say YES! Here's the kicker-- at least for me. It's not a one time yes. Everyday I wake up and have another day to live and do His will, is a moment that I say, YES LORD, move me where you see fit. He has a hand in everything I do. But there are still things I need to work on.
I need to call upon Him more often. In EVERYTHING I do, seeking Him, asking Him being guided by Him. He has been faithful, protecting me even when I wasn't ready to hear Him. I look back on my life and am just so amazed by His love for me.
I don't know who needs to read this, but He has much to offer you. Just be willing to say YES!
Today at church, we were blessed to have Mike Rovner come and speak about the amazing things God has done for his life, but also just passing on his wisdom from the things he has gone through. Mike's message was on Willingness, Obedience, and most of all Forgiveness.
On forgiveness, Mike reminds us - "It's not a feeling, it's an act of your will." Just as much as we walk in Victory as Christians, we have to walk in forgiveness each time. I have to actively seek a habit of forgiveness. There are people that have hurt me in my life--- deeply. It is tough, to say I forgive but not actively walk in that.
Pastor Michael following Mike's message gave us time to lay it on Him. He says cast your cares upon me. He will take care of it. Today was the first time I finally said that I'm sorry. Why? Because I finally am able to let it go. Not forgiving hurts me more than it hurts the people who have pained me. But forgiving me puts a freedom on my heart. It makes the weight that I am feeling go. After that moment with God, I found it hard to figure out what had hurt me. It was as if He erased it all. The anger, the feelings that would come back when I thought about those moments, have been replaced with PEACE. I feel nothing, except for FREEDOM!
GOD IS FAITHFUL! He has abundant blessings to cast upon us all we have to do is say YES! Here's the kicker-- at least for me. It's not a one time yes. Everyday I wake up and have another day to live and do His will, is a moment that I say, YES LORD, move me where you see fit. He has a hand in everything I do. But there are still things I need to work on.
I need to call upon Him more often. In EVERYTHING I do, seeking Him, asking Him being guided by Him. He has been faithful, protecting me even when I wasn't ready to hear Him. I look back on my life and am just so amazed by His love for me.
I don't know who needs to read this, but He has much to offer you. Just be willing to say YES!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
A promised love...
Hey Y'all,
I've written a little bit about my love life, if you can call it that, lol. I am still trying to navigate a Godly love from a man made love. I was/am in what I think is love with this guy. He has some how gotten under my skin and into my heart. It has taken me a long time to admit my feelings for him and although I know how he feels about me, choices we have made in our lives have separated us and caused a great distance.
I recently encountered him again and for the first time I was faced with what I had once been able to "push away" or what I thought I had been able to bury deep. What I realized in seeing him for the first time in a long while was how fast those feelings would all come back and how much I realized I was feeling for him. People say "out of sight, out of mind" but it doesn't mean that you actually ever let go.
I was tested, do I say hi, do I not. I chose to say something, and that something was simply this " I only want to see you happy, I wish you well." That takes a lot, to look the person you wish you could be with, a person who you know on some level wishes they could be with you and let it all go, on one account---happiness.
So what that meant is that I am still learning how to live out of love. A love that my friends and I know is not of God, but a love that nonetheless I am trying to break free from. The funny thing is that you are made to love. God created us in His image with the intent that we "love one another, as He loved us." So our heart, this unique gift of love and truth, is also sometimes our weakest link. It falls and it falls hard. We get too open with our hearts and we risk that honest, Godly, truthful love. I think that until we find that promised love we will forever be in situations that are "a lot like love." I am tired of giving pieces of my heart away and feeling so empty at the end of it. The recovery period to repair those broken elements takes longer than it did to give them all away.
He didn't PROMISE us a complicated love. He didn't promise us a love that was going to be hard. He didn't PROMISE us a love that was going to make us hurt. He PROMISED us a REAL, HONEST, WONDERFUL and BLESSED love.
"..... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love." He promised us a love that IS full of humility, that IS gentle that IS patient. He promised us a love that IS kind, that IS compassionate. I don't know why we settle for those fleeting moments that isn't that. If I spend more time crying because of love, instead of crying out of love, then maybe it really isn't love.
I feel like I am being ministered to as I try and heal through the pain of what I have been witnessing as a fight between my heart and my head. My head gets it, but my heart wants to feel something much different. My heart wants to be in love. But I know the love I am promised and right now it hasn't been gifted to me. I need to stand out in victory, that He has already provided it for me, but I still need to live out that faith.
My future is kind, it's gentle and it's patient.He will be God-fearing. I pray that the person I meet and makes me His mate becomes my best friend. Understands faith, makes me better for loving him. Supports me, loves me, cares for me. Being a sports fan is not bad either ;).. I pray for love, a good love, a God love!
I've written a little bit about my love life, if you can call it that, lol. I am still trying to navigate a Godly love from a man made love. I was/am in what I think is love with this guy. He has some how gotten under my skin and into my heart. It has taken me a long time to admit my feelings for him and although I know how he feels about me, choices we have made in our lives have separated us and caused a great distance.
I recently encountered him again and for the first time I was faced with what I had once been able to "push away" or what I thought I had been able to bury deep. What I realized in seeing him for the first time in a long while was how fast those feelings would all come back and how much I realized I was feeling for him. People say "out of sight, out of mind" but it doesn't mean that you actually ever let go.
I was tested, do I say hi, do I not. I chose to say something, and that something was simply this " I only want to see you happy, I wish you well." That takes a lot, to look the person you wish you could be with, a person who you know on some level wishes they could be with you and let it all go, on one account---happiness.
So what that meant is that I am still learning how to live out of love. A love that my friends and I know is not of God, but a love that nonetheless I am trying to break free from. The funny thing is that you are made to love. God created us in His image with the intent that we "love one another, as He loved us." So our heart, this unique gift of love and truth, is also sometimes our weakest link. It falls and it falls hard. We get too open with our hearts and we risk that honest, Godly, truthful love. I think that until we find that promised love we will forever be in situations that are "a lot like love." I am tired of giving pieces of my heart away and feeling so empty at the end of it. The recovery period to repair those broken elements takes longer than it did to give them all away.
He didn't PROMISE us a complicated love. He didn't promise us a love that was going to be hard. He didn't PROMISE us a love that was going to make us hurt. He PROMISED us a REAL, HONEST, WONDERFUL and BLESSED love.
"..... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love." He promised us a love that IS full of humility, that IS gentle that IS patient. He promised us a love that IS kind, that IS compassionate. I don't know why we settle for those fleeting moments that isn't that. If I spend more time crying because of love, instead of crying out of love, then maybe it really isn't love.
I feel like I am being ministered to as I try and heal through the pain of what I have been witnessing as a fight between my heart and my head. My head gets it, but my heart wants to feel something much different. My heart wants to be in love. But I know the love I am promised and right now it hasn't been gifted to me. I need to stand out in victory, that He has already provided it for me, but I still need to live out that faith.
My future is kind, it's gentle and it's patient.He will be God-fearing. I pray that the person I meet and makes me His mate becomes my best friend. Understands faith, makes me better for loving him. Supports me, loves me, cares for me. Being a sports fan is not bad either ;).. I pray for love, a good love, a God love!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
How and when did I get here... (FAITH)
Today I closed an amazing chapter in my life, the time that I have spent with the Frederick Douglass Distinguished Scholars. It has been an amazing journey, and reflecting back on these last 2 years I have also had to reflect on the journey of my life in general. I am in awe of the person that I have become.
My walk, nor my life in general has been perfect. I have stumbled and made choices that others might have regretted, but I took EVERY moment as a lesson to NEVER make that same mistake again. I know that there are many people who can look back on their lives and see areas they wish they could take back. Yes, there's a feeling of remorse when I look back on my life and realize that there are many areas where I could have left a better impression for the people I interacted with, but when I see who I am today, I know I couldn't be me without those hiccups along the way.
Sitting in a room with 15 young minds and one person who has imparted so much wisdom in my life, I am in awe of where I am right now. The only answer I have to say is that FAITH brought me here. I talk about my faith quite a lot. Mainly because I knew the woman I wanted to be, needed to have a stronger relationship with Christ. And He knew that day would come, sooner than I had probably bargained with Him for, but in enough time that I could be in this moment, see myself, here my words and see people's reactions to understand that I am right where I need to be.
I've been worried about whether or not I have enough of a foundation to be in the positions that I am. But I have been saying this to many people and then it FINALLY clicked for me. I have x amount of wisdom and experience on the people who are looking to me for advice and mentorship. And even if I feel that it's only two minutes more of experience, that's two minutes more than they had.
I recognize in a REAL way, how much influence I have on the lives of people around me. I am very conscious of the "power of my words" and the value that my words can speak into the lives of others. If someone told me in High School or when I started College that I would be this person, part of me would not have believed it. Through the depression and my own self-destructive behavior, I thought that the world was out to get me. But there was something that I held on to then and something that has come full circle today- I must have been burdened with this life, so that someone else didn't have to experience hell on earth. Furthermore, I must have been burdened with this life for a bigger purpose than the hurt and pain I was in then. I am seeing that second piece fulfilled, everyday that I get to encounter a new person. I am humbled by this gift and so blessed to be standing in this wonderful season with an opportunity to just love on people and to continue to spread a message of Faith to those who might be wavering.
My walk, nor my life in general has been perfect. I have stumbled and made choices that others might have regretted, but I took EVERY moment as a lesson to NEVER make that same mistake again. I know that there are many people who can look back on their lives and see areas they wish they could take back. Yes, there's a feeling of remorse when I look back on my life and realize that there are many areas where I could have left a better impression for the people I interacted with, but when I see who I am today, I know I couldn't be me without those hiccups along the way.
Sitting in a room with 15 young minds and one person who has imparted so much wisdom in my life, I am in awe of where I am right now. The only answer I have to say is that FAITH brought me here. I talk about my faith quite a lot. Mainly because I knew the woman I wanted to be, needed to have a stronger relationship with Christ. And He knew that day would come, sooner than I had probably bargained with Him for, but in enough time that I could be in this moment, see myself, here my words and see people's reactions to understand that I am right where I need to be.
I've been worried about whether or not I have enough of a foundation to be in the positions that I am. But I have been saying this to many people and then it FINALLY clicked for me. I have x amount of wisdom and experience on the people who are looking to me for advice and mentorship. And even if I feel that it's only two minutes more of experience, that's two minutes more than they had.
I recognize in a REAL way, how much influence I have on the lives of people around me. I am very conscious of the "power of my words" and the value that my words can speak into the lives of others. If someone told me in High School or when I started College that I would be this person, part of me would not have believed it. Through the depression and my own self-destructive behavior, I thought that the world was out to get me. But there was something that I held on to then and something that has come full circle today- I must have been burdened with this life, so that someone else didn't have to experience hell on earth. Furthermore, I must have been burdened with this life for a bigger purpose than the hurt and pain I was in then. I am seeing that second piece fulfilled, everyday that I get to encounter a new person. I am humbled by this gift and so blessed to be standing in this wonderful season with an opportunity to just love on people and to continue to spread a message of Faith to those who might be wavering.
Monday, April 23, 2012
What's Next?....
Hey all:
So I am not really sure if I have mentioned it at all, but I am currently in a Graduate School Program! Yay me and Higher Education!!
I am only a few short weeks away from graduating, having just received confirmation that I had passed my Comprehensive Exams-- to all of those who read my blog and are in Graduate School Programs etc, CONGRATULATIONS.
With this news comes a series of questions from family, friends, co-workers etc, "What's Next?" Here's the thing, if someone had asked me when I was 16 years old and first hear about AU, if I would be at this end of the journey, I would have had answers full of doubt. My parent's had gotten divorced and with their divorce went whatever money they had saved for college. Along with that having moved across the country and not having a stable job, my mom and I didn't have much to save for in the few short years it took me to enter and complete high school.
When I first heard about AU, I knew it was a school I wanted to go to. There was something in my gut that said, I'll get there one day. Graduating High School finally knowing that I would not be attending AU post my senior year was tough to swallow. I had used finishing school as my escape from the crap I had to deal with. My education was my sanctuary. I still had setbacks, ones that I created, but despite those setbacks- being rebellious etc, I was on a path to continue to learn as much as possible to hopefully NEVER allow those setbacks to really put me in a hole.
So I graduated High School, and while my friends were either getting jobs right out, or going to 4 year institutions I enrolled in Foothill Community College. I paid my way through school. I paid for each of my classes, my textbooks etc. This probably began what set the tone for the next years of my life. I valued MY investment. I couldn't afford to mess up in a class because, well I didn't have the money or the time to make it up. So I didn't take for granted the moments that I needed to study or the time I sacrificed having fun for reading for class. I worked hard, balancing work, paying for school and may apartment and getting the grades I needed to graduate and transfer. Yes, I planned to graduate from my community college, I did not put in 2 years to not get a degree out of the experience.
It took me a little longer to graduate from Foothill then the normal 2 years. It took me about 2.5, why? I got sick , really sick and it set me back a little bit. When I graduated from Foothill, I spent a little time just working and not really sure of what I would do next.
I decided to move. Closer to my family, which meant traveling 3000 miles to the East Coast. I took a year off, taking online classes and beginning to prepare my transition to a 4 year institution. During my search, I kept coming back to AU. So when the time came to apply, only two applications went out. My application to AU and one to Ohio State University.
I got into both, but my acceptance to AU was the only one that I had physically received. The Ohio State information somehow made it to my dad's place in California. Going to AU was a dream come true, and I had made it. What set AU apart was their 5 year program and the opportunity for me to get my Master's as well as my Bachelor's degree.
I was thrilled and excited for this opportunity. Being at AU was not easy, it was tough. I worked, again, all through my time here. Again, I paid for school on my own. It was my responsibility to get the grades I needed because I couldn't afford any other option.
Doubt crept in, would I make it would I be able to continue. There were times where I struggled greatly.
But as I look back on my experiences realizing that I have been given the best gift ever, I look back with a humility and grace that has only been gifted to me by God. Through all the struggles and areas of uncertainty, I prayed to God that I would make it to the end of my dream. I wasn't sure how I was to get there, but I just knew that this is where I wanted to be.
Being so close to the finish line, I realize how BLESSED I have been and I am. God has seen me through my journey even when I didn't realize I needed Him or that He was even listening. I realize that even though I struggled, He was always there. I am so excited for His Faithfulness.
Ephesians 1:11-14 Says that it is in Christ that we find out WHO we are and what we are living for.
We find our purpose after knowing who we are in Christ and we can only get that with having Christ at the center of our lives.
So when people ask me "What's next?" I can only say, I do not know, but whatever it will be, it WILL BE GREAT and it will be FAITH Filled, because I now see no other way to get through the journey without God!
So I am not really sure if I have mentioned it at all, but I am currently in a Graduate School Program! Yay me and Higher Education!!
I am only a few short weeks away from graduating, having just received confirmation that I had passed my Comprehensive Exams-- to all of those who read my blog and are in Graduate School Programs etc, CONGRATULATIONS.
With this news comes a series of questions from family, friends, co-workers etc, "What's Next?" Here's the thing, if someone had asked me when I was 16 years old and first hear about AU, if I would be at this end of the journey, I would have had answers full of doubt. My parent's had gotten divorced and with their divorce went whatever money they had saved for college. Along with that having moved across the country and not having a stable job, my mom and I didn't have much to save for in the few short years it took me to enter and complete high school.
When I first heard about AU, I knew it was a school I wanted to go to. There was something in my gut that said, I'll get there one day. Graduating High School finally knowing that I would not be attending AU post my senior year was tough to swallow. I had used finishing school as my escape from the crap I had to deal with. My education was my sanctuary. I still had setbacks, ones that I created, but despite those setbacks- being rebellious etc, I was on a path to continue to learn as much as possible to hopefully NEVER allow those setbacks to really put me in a hole.
So I graduated High School, and while my friends were either getting jobs right out, or going to 4 year institutions I enrolled in Foothill Community College. I paid my way through school. I paid for each of my classes, my textbooks etc. This probably began what set the tone for the next years of my life. I valued MY investment. I couldn't afford to mess up in a class because, well I didn't have the money or the time to make it up. So I didn't take for granted the moments that I needed to study or the time I sacrificed having fun for reading for class. I worked hard, balancing work, paying for school and may apartment and getting the grades I needed to graduate and transfer. Yes, I planned to graduate from my community college, I did not put in 2 years to not get a degree out of the experience.
It took me a little longer to graduate from Foothill then the normal 2 years. It took me about 2.5, why? I got sick , really sick and it set me back a little bit. When I graduated from Foothill, I spent a little time just working and not really sure of what I would do next.
I decided to move. Closer to my family, which meant traveling 3000 miles to the East Coast. I took a year off, taking online classes and beginning to prepare my transition to a 4 year institution. During my search, I kept coming back to AU. So when the time came to apply, only two applications went out. My application to AU and one to Ohio State University.
I got into both, but my acceptance to AU was the only one that I had physically received. The Ohio State information somehow made it to my dad's place in California. Going to AU was a dream come true, and I had made it. What set AU apart was their 5 year program and the opportunity for me to get my Master's as well as my Bachelor's degree.
I was thrilled and excited for this opportunity. Being at AU was not easy, it was tough. I worked, again, all through my time here. Again, I paid for school on my own. It was my responsibility to get the grades I needed because I couldn't afford any other option.
Doubt crept in, would I make it would I be able to continue. There were times where I struggled greatly.
But as I look back on my experiences realizing that I have been given the best gift ever, I look back with a humility and grace that has only been gifted to me by God. Through all the struggles and areas of uncertainty, I prayed to God that I would make it to the end of my dream. I wasn't sure how I was to get there, but I just knew that this is where I wanted to be.
Being so close to the finish line, I realize how BLESSED I have been and I am. God has seen me through my journey even when I didn't realize I needed Him or that He was even listening. I realize that even though I struggled, He was always there. I am so excited for His Faithfulness.
Ephesians 1:11-14 Says that it is in Christ that we find out WHO we are and what we are living for.
We find our purpose after knowing who we are in Christ and we can only get that with having Christ at the center of our lives.
So when people ask me "What's next?" I can only say, I do not know, but whatever it will be, it WILL BE GREAT and it will be FAITH Filled, because I now see no other way to get through the journey without God!
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